Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
And so is the sky,
And so are your eyes.
-
Your favorite color
Is like grass in the spring -
A heart-thrilling green,
So alive, so serene.
-
Wherever I look,
Right or left, up or down,
I'm reminded of you
And of love that is true.
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139,858 Literary Works • 672,777 Reviews
Hey friend, well, I am back again to review another one of your lovely poems! Let's jump right in
Honestly, this rhyming really threw me off. The sky and eyes rhyme breaks the normal pattern for this type of poem, so it was sort of a shock to read. The double 'and' also made that part feel a bit more repetitive. Although I do like the simplicity of it, like a reflection on someone who must mean a lot to you, because you remember their eyes so clearly.
I did love this verse though! I love how you kept the ABCC rhyme scheme throughout the poem. Green and serene rhyme well with each other and I enjoyed the for specific sensory and visual details we got in this stanza.
And the ending was lovely:
This whole poem becomes a reminder of this love you speak about. It is short and sweet, but something that feels very comforting and heartfelt. Way to go for playing with that traditional poem and mixing up the lines a bit. The second and third verse were my favorite, because the rhymes flowed very well. I also love the details. Overall, lovely work and I would love to see a part two, maybe even more poems that follow this same idea.
Keep one writing and have a fantastic day!
Your friend,
Ellie
EverLight here with a review. This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel or poem seem bad, but be warned- you may feel offended anyway
First Impression
This was cute. Although using 'Roses are red and violets are blue' as a first line kind of threw me off. After all that is such a cliched line now days...but the rest of your poem worked beautifully.
Nitpicks
You did have one nitpick in this line-
You missed a comma by the word you. And, this is optional but I think that last line would sound better if you removed the word of-let me show you-
Other then those errors this was great. Keep it up!
EverLight Out
Hello! Em dropping in to give you a quick review.
This is a beautiful and cute version of the original poem. I was always one when I was younger to try to memorize different funny versions of the poem to tell to my friends, and even tried to make up some myself. However, I've grown to like the more realistic versions of the poem, such as this one. I really enjoyed reading this, and I hope that you continue to write more.
Don't ever give up on your dreams! Keep up the great work, and Em out!
This is cute! A really sweet variation of the original poem~ The rhyming structure is pretty interesting too.