I slipped out the door
Into the cool, balmy night
Where the moon and the stars
Were the only true lights;
I found that I followed
Paths aimless, unbound,
While the voices of nighttime
Whispered around.
I reached out and touched
The endless dark sky,
And floated away
On the breeze's soft sigh;
I felt myself drawn
By its deep mysteries,
As I grasped the hand
Of infinity.
Now I was part
Of the velvety cloak,
And the wonder of oneness
It gently evoked;
I sensed a strong kinship
When my brow it caressed
And shared all the diamonds
From its star treasure chest.
That moment was boundless
And thrilling and free,
When I saw in the night
A resemblance to me:
Buried treasures
And secrets unknown,
Thoughts to infinity
When I am alone;
Deep contemplation,
And mysteries rare,
When the moon and the stars
Kiss my face and my hair;
Sweet midnight jasmine
That the daytime knows not,
And low, mournful windsong
By loneliness taught.
So now with the nighttime
I often escape,
And let it enfold me
With its black velvet cape;
And when the stars glow upon me
In their pale majesty,
I follow the pull
Of infinity.
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140,287 Literary Works • 673,074 Reviews
I liked this poem a lot. The title is really unique and pretty. I liked it a lot!
Hi!
and are described very well, in my opinion.First of all, I love the title of this poem. Something about it just makes me happy, though I can't pinpoint what it is about it!
I like the word choice you used; it was different, and not bland. Words like "balmy" is not a word I've seen very often.
I love the way that you describe things in this poem. Lines like
I enjoyed the overall sentiment of the poem and the emotion that it portrayed to the reader. It was a nice thing to read and contemplate.
Thank you for sharing!
Wow! This is an amazing poem! I love it! It’s beautiful! The flow is amazing! The rhyming is amazing ! This poem is amazing! I loved this! I wish I had a talent like yours! This poem is amazing, awesome and wonderful! And, it’s one of my favourite poems I have read till now! Good job! Keep writing! I look forward to another of this type of poem!
Good job, this is a great poem. Being a passionate lover of the night I found myself while reading this. I enjoyed reading this.
The first stanza sets the mood. You achieved that, mostly. I don't like how mechanical, stiff every action feels. You described the surrounding space in such an elegant manner, yet the persona feels like a robot: "I slipped out.../I found out". Try to make this more dinamic, more gentle. I don't have any examples in mind right now but if you want to get an idea of what I mean, you can ask me later.
I love how you established this elevation, the pass from the mortal world to the eternal, infinite universe. This is such a nice theme, and it gets really fun to read when done correctly. You achieved that effect and the journey for me as a reader went really smooth.
And after all this ending is really out of place. After getting us to travel through the universe in such a nice way, this ending stanza is just a bad conclusion. You made some nice metaphors there but the whole idea is really vague and meh. Not once in the poem was there mentioned that was the first time for the persona to get in touch with the universe, and here you made it look like the persona never felt like that, yet in the poem we get this familiarity of the speaker with everything surrounding.
My opinion is just get rid of that last stanza, the one before it is sooo much better and can act like a good ending, leaving me as a reader wanting some more.
Keep writing, good job overall, sorry if I was kinda harsh.
Howdy Hi, WinnyWriter!
This poem was absolutely lovely. I can feel the speakers affinity for the nighttime, and how they discovered an entirely different universe upon stepping outside their door that fateful night. The imagery you used to describe the night sky, and the experience of solitude without loneliness was absolutely breathtaking. I don't have very much to critique that isn't my own personal preference, but this was an experience of a poem, and I will definitely be reading more of your work.
Have a great day, and a wonderful #RevMo !
-Connie
I love the flow of this poetry, it really brings you in, and then it subtly lets you out. This stillness, and feeling of being calm, while still seemingly still real, is almost a fantasy to me. Now as infinity is neither a place nor number, this poem really brings out the attributes to it as though it is. Thank you for writing this, it's amazing!
Thanks for the review:)
I love the flow of this poetry, it really brings you in, and then it subtly lets you out. This stillness, and feeling of being calm, while still seemingly still real, is almost a fantasy to me. Now as infinity is neither a place nor number, this poem really brings out the attributes to it as though it is. Thank you for writing this, it's amazing!