Behind The Scenes Hero
(For Grace)
You deserve to be recognized
for the hero that you are -
yes, you are a hero, even though
you didn't fight on the front lines
like all the rest,
your work was more behind the scenes,
you fought
a different kind of battle,
and while others may have called you
a shrinking violet,
you are brave for every moment you inwardly
stood up
against the evil surrounding you,
honorable the way your heart
always defied the wrong,
strong in the moment you made
your crucial choice
to do right no matter what,
and that makes you valuable,
just like all the rest,
you're a behind the scenes hero, and that takes
a special kind of grace.
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139,585 Literary Works • 672,611 Reviews
Hey Winny! I see you've written a poem for someone.
My review for this is probably going to be short one, because I just want to appreciate the amount of significance you've given someone; it's inspiring.
The poem gives me the feeling that this person is close to you and that you know them so much that you are aware of the struggles inside their head, perhaps? The things they prepare themselves for, and the things they're secretly against and sometimes tolerate, but sometimes fail to, and are hurt by it.
By the tone of the poem, I presume that not many people are aware of these struggles and hence the title, 'Behind the scenes Hero'.
It's touching that you've described this person this way. I'm sure touching would be an understatement if they read it.
It was a real pleasure to have read this.
Keep writing!
Yours sincerely,
Myth
Hey,
Though I find this poem a bit cruel it is really relatable . Have you heard about the fifth wave?
The heroes between the lines
It bears a remarkable similarly to it. Not taking it the wrong way. It is a compliment.
Thanxx
Hi, Winny!
Before I begin my review, I just want to say I'm not going to comment on the title, because i don't know who this poem is for. It's clearly an ode, but to whom I cannot say. However, it is sweet that you've written it for someone and you've done it well.
There are no mistakes with your grammar or spelling as far as I can see, so I'll put that aside. Good job.
The main thing I didn't really like about the poem is how it's essentially one long sentence. It began to drag after one point, and I really feel that you could break the poem into several stanzas and use fullstops here and there. With that the poem would be a little smoother to read.
Additionally, I believe that capitalization adds a certain kind of gravity to a poem. You haven't capitalized anything, which of course is an entirely different style of poetry that I respect, but since this is an ode, capitalizing words every line would certainly make the poem seem a little more powerful.
The length of each line is too inconsistent, which also makes it drag a little. I would suggest splitting and combining sentences to make for a better layout.
This line felt rather weak. I think you could have worded it better. Perhaps something like, "strong for every moment
Of choosing to do
The right thing no matter what."
- Just a suggestion, though.
I liked the ending. It had a smooth transition and closed the poem well.
Overall, the poem is quite good. There is some room for improvement, but it's still pretty well-written. I like how you've expressed your feelings in a tender yet professional way. Good work!
- Lee
Hi there! Haraya here to review.
First of all, this sounds like an ode to the person you named in your title. I thinks it's very touching and I sense your admiration for this person.
Nonetheless, here is my critique.
I noticed you rarely used figurative language here, which made your poem sound prosaic. I would have loved to feel how much you admired the person and I think you could have achieved that if you made your work more descriptive. For example:
"you are brave for every moment you inwardly
stood up
against the evil surrounding you,"
This makes me wonder what is it the person stood up for? What was the evil surrounding them? I think showing these could have made your poem more heartfelt. I recommend reading other odes like Ode to an Onion. The way Pablo Neruda used imagery make readers feel the wonders he experiences as he admires the onion.
The other main issue with the poem is punctuation and capitalization. I noticed that you only capitalized the first word of the poem and added the only period at the end. This made your poem sound continuous, as if one thought immediately proceeds the other. My problem with this is there is no clear transition from one idea to the other. Take this for example:
"yes, you are a hero, even though
you didn't fight on the front lines
like all the rest,
your work was more behind the scenes,
you fought
a different kind of battle,"
These lines actually sound like three different sentences but because of the commas at the end, visually they look like one long sentence. I suggest to splice them into multiple sentences.
That's all I have to say! I sense that your emotions are intact in this poem but I believe you can still release them in a more powerful outflow with more vividness. Hope my review helps you out! Best of luck to you in your future works!