You came to me in a dream . . . .
I knew somehow you'd be waiting,
Waiting among the trees,
And that is where I found you
Beneath the canopy of green.
The sky shone blue above,
The sun smiled
Warm and bright,
And yet gentle raindrops fell -
A sun shower.
The breeze whispered secrets,
Passed among the verdant leaves,
Dancing,
Rejoicing,
Celebrating the vibrant feeling,
The connection between you and me.
Though I knew not how to name it,
All the green leaves knew,
And quivered in pure, sunbathed delight,
Kissed with a white-gold hue;
And the light that sparkled in the raindrops
Was echoed in your eyes.
You put your arms around me -
My feet lifted from the earth,
My arm found your strong shoulders,
My hand caressed your hair,
Golden-white
With a splendor
To rival shafts of sun;
The glistening, glimmering raindrops
Showered us like warm kisses,
Tender,
Gentle,
Barely there,
But ever so ethereal beneath the canopy of trees,
Under the sky of blue,
Where there was only me and you,
In that fleeting liminal space.
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,768 Reviews
hi! It's ocean here to shoot you a quick review ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧˚
I pretty much just picked out my favorite lines for this poem. :3
Now shall we dive in?
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God, I loved this sooooo much! The way you used imagery and personification to give the poem almost more movement. Which literally made my heart flutter like a bird.
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JEEZ, you have me spiraling rn. Im falling in love with this poem just as the narrator of this poem is falling in love. There's a sense of security and romance in this poem that not even I can begin to write about. The imagery (once again) brings this whole poem to life.
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These lines tied into the whole poem nicely. I literally sat here and read this poem three time because I loved it THAT much.
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Also I am reading you series and working on the reviews as you requested <3
Keep on swimming, Ocean ( *ˊᵕˋ)
idk why it submitted twice...
Thank you so much! It's always lovely to hear when readers like what we post. %uD83D%uDE0A
Hi, friend!
The first thing that I noticed about your poem is how you use such elegant and beautiful language throughout the entire thing. This poem feels like a dream (which it is described as being- but it really FEELS like one!). Almost like we are softly drifting through everything that you describe, you described it as being ethereal, which I think is completely accurate to the whole poem. The whole thing feels safe and warm. Overall, I really enjoyed it.
You are not super direct, but instead, you use these gentle metaphors to guide us along. It seems like there are two people who have deep emotions for each other. This poem almost feels like you were describing life and relationships. We can celebrate all the goodness that we have, and we can feel for each other. I really liked the wine about how the raindrops were falling, which you described as being a sun shower. This gives me the sense of finding positivity and joy and things that might seem bad. Sometimes rain is used to describe tears or downpours from life, but you turn it into something positive.
I think these are my favorite lines in the whole poem. I like how you broke up your lines for the words, tender and gentle. It gives me the sense of whispering and waiting, almost like meditation, as I read this. And there we see the word ethereal. As I mentioned earlier, your vocabulary is so gorgeous in this poem. It seems like everything that you describe has such an elegant feel to it.
Overall, I really like the general message of this poem. Feels comforting and safe, and like it describes a trusting relationship between two people who love each other. Since it is a dream, I would love a sentence at the end, talking about how they woke up and how they felt when they woke up. Were they disappointed that it wasn't real? Was this a memory of something that happened before that doesn't exist anymore? I would love to add that emotional layer at the end that would give it a better sense of closure, if that makes sense. But as I said, I really enjoyed this poem and felt it was easy to follow along with. Great job and I can't wait to read more of your poetry soon!
Your friend,
Ellie