Roses are red,
Violets are blue;
Memories are sweet -
Memories of you.
-
Life is gentle,
Love is true;
Memories are precious -
Memories of you.
-
Sunshine is golden,
Soft is the dew;
Memories are tender -
Memories of you.
-
Storm clouds spill rain,
Disaster anew;
Memories are painful -
Memories of you.
-
Death is silent,
Darkness is, too;
Memories are bitter -
Memories of you.
-
Crushed roses leave
The scent of perfume;
Memories are lasting -
Memories of you.
-
Pain always fades,
Healing breaks through.
Memories are treasured -
Memories of you
-
Roses are red,
Love never dies;
Time never forgets,
And neither will I.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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I really love the recurring theme of memories of you. My favorite line in your poem is:
Crushed roses leave
The scent of perfume;
Memories are lasting -
Memories of you.
This is so relatable and really deep. There is something about your work that really shows us with rich imagery and context of how you feel. Instead of just saying I am sad and miss this person, it’s like we're sitting next to you and experience what your feeling. My favorite part is you really made me feel connected to you as a reader, and that is amazing. Keep writing poems, you have a clear talent!!! Please let me know when you post more work, I’d love to read it!
This is such a lovely poem, and I can tell there is a lot of heart in this piece. Your use of repetition with memories really shows that the memory of the lost loved one is truly what matters now. I think I enjoyed the transition from believing that they are alive, to the reveal that they are dead is real impact on the reader, because this isn't a very sad poem, more of a promise.
I think that's what makes this special, compared to other poems about death. It doesn't seem somber at all, but more hopeful for the memories that they have made.
I don't see much error at all, and overall thought the flow was very good, read like a sonnet. (would've read it out loud for impact, but I'm in class XD).
Keep writing this is really good!
EverLight here with a review. This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel or poem seem bad, but be warned- you may feel offended anyway.
First Impression
That is such a sweet poem! XD. And it's kind of ironic to me because I've written a poem with that exact title as well-(I don't think I posted it here though...then again I have a hard time keeping track of my works on here these days-there are so many of them!)
Nitpicks
Congratulations! You had no nitpicks!
Style & Flow
Your style was good, but again there was an issue with the last line-
I feel like that 'time never forgets' interrupts with the flow-so I'd recommend changing that line for something else, or rewrite it.
Overall, amazing job! I'm so happy to have found another poet!