Afraid of Losing You

I'm gonna hand it to you, you had me the first half.

***

Hey, it's Serrurie, here to leave a review! Let's dive in:

The Good Stuff
- This immediately gives off 'The Chosen One' trope, by never saying their name and only the noun 'one'
(I'm trying really hard to be serious about this T-T)
(*ahem*)
- Anyway, the humor in this was great! It makes this so relatable, and I really can't live without earbuds sometimes.

Room For Improvement
- For a second I thought that you messed up the pattern, but you actually did great! Amazing use of grammar and a wonderful concept!

Overall Opinion
- I don't have too much to say about this poem. It was great, grammatically perfect, and most importantly, hysterical. The only thing I think you forgot in this situation is painstakingly searching for the earbud in panic.

Happy writing, and have a blessed day!

Serrurie

Hello, Winny! I'm Wist and I'm here to leave a short review for your poem here.

Now, I didn't read the genre tags before diving in, so I was fully expecting a tragic poem of loss and grief. Your writing is so genuine, which added to the humor of the twist ending. If you were any less authentic, the joke would not have landed. With that said, let's dive into your lines.

I fear the darkness
That may swallow you up

This image is so powerful. It evokes this feeling of losing someone to an illness. At least to me, anyway. It's such a potent source of emotion for the poem. Grieving what has not already happened.

Uselessness arrives with the loss
Of this special one.

These lines are so sweet and sad. It's a love so powerful that you feel like you'll never move on. It's heart-wrenching. It's clear you're a talented tragedy writer, which lends itself perfectly to this piece.

My own,
My earbud?

When I read this for the first time, I entered a state of confused shock before bursting into audible laughter. It caught me so off guard because you successfully tricked me. I was ready to cry but instead got laughter as a present. I'm quite happy I missed the humor tag because going in fully blind made this reveal so much better.

Overall, this was a funny but well-written poem. You didn't sacrifice quality for a quick laugh and it made it so much better. I enjoyed it as a simple grief poem, but the twist was perfect. I enjoyed reading it very much. Thanks for publishing!

Happy Writing!
Wist

Yay, another lovely poem!! My first impression, is that this is a very quick, but personal poem. Let's jump right into the review!!

I like how you started the poem:

I'm afraid of losing one,
One so important, so essential to me.

The poem is well organized, with capital letters at the beginning of every line, although it has some uneven line length that gives it a more unique format. I love how you start us off with such a powerful statement. Your biggest fear is losing someone who is essential to you, probably because you love them so much.

What would I do without you?

A lovely question you ask in the middle of this poem. It was nice how you didn't just get right into the question, but you provide this build up for many line, listing how you are close to them.

How would I manage without you,
My precious,
My own,
My earbud?

OH MY GOODNESS XDD What a twist LOL!! The whole time, I thought we were talking about a lover or dear friend, only to realize that this whole poem is about your... earbud. It all makes sense now XDDD. I was really not expecting that. I now understand why this poem was marked as humor. Overall, that was a wonderful and short poem. You do such a good job at building up the suspense, making us want to know who this person is, then the reveal was awesome.

Fantastic work and keep writing!!

Your friend,
Ellie