I'm not afraid of Thunder,
For here it storms so much,
I recognize the raindrop's kiss
And know the tempest's touch.
-
When dark clouds come to greet me,
When lightning says, "hello,"
The tempest wraps me in its arms
And raging torrents flow.
-
The wild winds all know me,
Because their aching cries
Have often mingled with my own
Beneath the flashing skies.
-
While others run for shelter
To avoid the hurt and pain,
I face the reality of the storm
And learn the song of rain.
-
I'm not afraid of thunder,
And storms are now my friends,
Because I know to clear my path
Must be their destined end.
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,768 Reviews
Mailice here with a short review!
You've written a great little poem. I think the first thing I noticed is your rhymes and how you try to keep it flowing. You do that very well and it's easy to follow the verses. I see the whole poem not only, as the title suggests, as not being afraid of the storm, or rather believing that you are not afraid, but also this feeling that you dare to try new things and are also above fear.
You make a very good start, getting straight to the point. I especially like your metaphor of "raindrop's kiss". Maybe I'm reading a little too much between the lines here, but I could see the text from the perspective of a child who dares to do something it's not supposed to, and thinks it already understands a lot. But it could also be about an adult who has courage, unlike all the other people.
What I like about this stanza is how it seems like a build-up. Your first verse is a very good introduction, and you manage to go deeper here, as if you've just presented a title, and go into detail. I like how you personify the lightning here.
It's such an interesting scene that you set up here, where I don't know what to think. I can imagine that the screams the narrator is talking about are more in the direction of pain, but I could also imagine him screaming to express his positive emotions. Or, what I'm also thinking now, it could be that the screams of the winds, which are natural, mix with the screams of the reader, becoming the flashing skies.
I think with this stanza I'm now back to my theory that it's an adult who wants to prove something, like how nature works and that it's not actually dangerous. (Suddenly Benjamin Franklin comes to mind.
With the last verse, I fall back into the interpretation that it's a child that goes outside into the storm and now comes back and has proven that it's not afraid. It has gained self-confidence and courage and, as I understand it, by means of the last line it has also understood the meaning that it must act itself instead of waiting.
Here is a quick comment on the first line: I would capitalise the "thunder", as you also capitalised it in the first line.
I was able to build up a nice story through your little poem and let it play in my head. Above all, as mentioned above, I like how much you can interpret out when you start to take the text apart a bit.
I like how you keep your style consistent across the stanzas and try to keep your rhymes and they are not always so "direct" (like hello - flow for example). It gives the poem a certain elegance because of this. There are still some lines that don't rhyme, and yet it doesn't affect the reader so directly because they get lost in the text itself. I also always like how you build a distance, between "I" and "storm", which may also allude to a relationship.
I liked the poem. It was small and subtle and was interesting.
Have fun writing poems!
Mailice.
hey WinnyWriter! Nicole here for a quick review!
first I just have to say, wow. that was an amazing poem! I love it so much!
it really captures an interesting point of view. there are many ways to interpret this poem. which is something that I really like in a poem. it has an interesting rhyming pattern to it. itś not too obvious but still there. I have to say I really got drawn into this poem, and I think that's a great quality in a poem.
I don´t have any critiques for you
overall
I thought this was a great piece! I want to read more works from you.
good work! and keep writing!
Nice poem
I would first like to say I love the take on this poem. I feel like It's a comparing type way of thinking. Are you talking about a real storm?? Or the one inside?
"Because their aching cries
Have often mingled with my own "
This line is where I drew this conclusion. It's as if you are saying you are in just as much pain as the storm above is or shows.
"While others run for shelter
To avoid the hurt and pain,
I face the reality of the storm
And learn the song of rain."
It seems like you are saying that people are afraid of what they don't know and don't stand up or look closer. But, you understand that you have to face reality and not just hideaway. To as you say "Learn the song of the rain"
"I'm not afraid of thunder,
And storms are now my friends,
Because I know to clear my path
Must be their destined end. "
It's as if you are saying the storm guides you. That you have learned the bad can be good and that is beautiful. To accept what is happening as real and use it to learn.
If I'm wrong please correct me, but I hope this brightened your day...(P.s I love this so so so much)
Hey there, Winny! My name is Vilnius, and I'll be reading your narrative poem today! c:
Overall Review
I think that this is a beautiful poem and, frankly, one of the best I've seen in a while! It reminds me of an older poem called "The Last Hymn" by Marianne Farningham. They aren't exactly similar, but for some reason, this poem kept coming up in my head as I kept on reading this one.
Critiques
There's really not a lot to critique, so I'll be focused on your grammar this morning c:
I think that it'd be best to drop that first comma because the first line is an independent clause. I would also consider changing out "for" for another conjunction-- if you read it out loud it sounds a little odd.
Have a nice {[*insert time of day here*]}
Good one!