When I sit in class,
My mind wanders,
Always wanders,
To things many and varied,
Sometimes it's questions
Stampeding through like wild horses,
Or the background music
Ever-present,
Lilting, lifting loftily,
As if on the wings of a humming bird,
Or maybe a crow -
Depends on which you prefer.
Distractions dancing daintily,
Or crashing brashly
Like cymbals,
Until my thoughts are in outer space,
Out there amongst the stars
And Jupiter
And Mars,
And I've lost track of where the lecture is
Or where it's going.
What were we talking about again?
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139,403 Literary Works • 672,552 Reviews
Good (insert greeting)!
To start off, I would like to say how much I loved your poem! It so accurately describes what happens to your head in school! (Ironically, I’m in school right now). I love your use of alliteration on line nine and thirteen, as well as your quick use of rhyming on lines seventeen and nineteen. I would have personally wanted to see a little more rhyming, but it makes more sense for your poem to be less predictable as it is describing the inside of someone’s head.
I think these were my favorite lines. It just ties the whole poem together, and it’s super relatable. I can’t count how many times I’ve been yanked back into reality and wonder what exactly is happening.
All in all, I very much enjoyed your poem, and hope to see more of your work around soon! Stay safe and keep writing!
-Lizzy
I can definitely relate to your poem here, and you do a wonderful job capturing the essence of a mind that just won't stay put here with this section. At times it does feel as though my thoughts have floated off out of my reach, and I can't seem to get them back.
"Until my thoughts are in outer space,
Out there amongst the stars
And Jupiter
And Mars,"
And with this section about instruments you're able to illustrate the loudness of the mind. When there are too many thoughts, and distractions, and the sound gets to become a cacophony and you can't hear the lecture over the din.
"Distractions dancing daintily,
Or crashing brashly
Like cymbals,"
Even your pacing seems to capture the quickness and disjointedness of wandering minds. A wonderful poem, thank you for sharing.
I totally relate to this poem! The thing about having a lot on your mind,with your imagination and all,that relates to me.I do imagine a lot of creative ideas.I do like the structure of the poem,too.It’s describing racing thoughts with the running horses and the background music.I hope you have a lovely and amazing day and night.