The cold bitter rain seeps down through my skin,
Washing away the happy feelings of yesterday.
And every pore of my body screams in protest
To the cold feeling that replaces the bliss.
But what can I do when nothing is there,
And I am left alone without help?
The knowledge that one day hope will come
sustains me while I stand in the darkness.
But what is it doing while I wait here, all alone?
Who will aid me while rain becomes ice, chilling my heart?
Only one thing consoles me while the rain pours.
No one will see the tears underneath the heavy rainfall.
Just when all hope has faded,
And I begin to lose faith in the one I had believed in,
I see something faint on the horizon.
A pale light growing brighter by the second until unbearable.
And then I see the rainbow of hope and deep inside
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139,816 Literary Works • 672,772 Reviews
Hello again!
But then I don't quite understand how the rain is helping to bring this hope? Make that a bit more clear in the poem, and I'm sure it'll be a great finishing touch to it all.
Hm this was an interesting poem. I understand how it's about having hope renewed. And you do use some lovely phrases here which make it seem very poetic
In general the poem is good, but it could use some things to make it a smidge better. Once again I'm talking about this like alliteration, assonance, more metaphors. They may be small changes but once you put them into a poem you wouldn't believe the difference they can make
Who is the one he had believed in? Hope or something else, that came before? Happiness?
Mhm... this is really short, but in general it was a good poem. Just add a few poetic devices (there are plenty of articles about it in the forums) and it will snazzy this up to 100% fab (because it's at like 99,9% fab right now.)
Deanie x
To be honest, this isn't one of my "favorite" poems at all. I will work on that...
Thanks for your review again! 
Hey there Timmyjake. Its such a fantastic poem you have got there. It connects emotionally and mentally with the reader. And it is an inspirational one too. I just love the last stanza very much. It just spoke to me so well and i simply loved the way you have formed the sentences.
'No one will see the tears underneath the heavy downfall.'
I just thought the word "downfall" could be replaced by any other word, in my opinion 'rainfall'. But it is just my opinion, cause i dont know what you thought about it. But to me it seemed quite 'out of place'.
' I just know it will come out sometime soon. '
I didnt understand what will come out. I am very bad at interpreting or maybe i just missed the point, but i dont think it is your fault. So i just wanted to ask what that line meant.
On the whole it is a poem i really enjoyed and loved reading. It surely inspired me, so thank you very much.
Cheers
CatherinKanya
thank you for your lovely review! I will edit that... And I am sorry for the misunderstanding with that line. Read the edited version and perhaps it will help!
Now i totally get it. Great poem. 'And I being to lose faith in the one I had believed in', you accidentally wrote being instead of begin.
Anyway, keep up the amazing job.
oops! I will fix that.