You're a pain in the neck
The kind everyone can see
Clinging to my shoulders
All cringeworthy and pathetic.
It's like one of those weird habits
You hate but secretly like to pick at
But then you get under my nails
And that's kind of gross.
I obsess over you sometimes
Wishing you would go away
Without all the time and hassle
It would cost me to give you the boot.
And even after you left
We both know I'll be sorely tempted
To rub you the wrong way
Just for kicks and giggles.
So all in all
You're like a scab
Or a sunburn
Or dandruff.
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139,786 Literary Works • 672,768 Reviews
I loved the word choice in this poem. It was very clever how you characterized these.. ticks? Is that what they should be called? Well, anyways. You did a very good job on the characterization of the ticks and how they affect your life. I could really see every image that you were putting out here, and a few made me laugh. (I think I might have snorted once or twice).
This is a lovely poem.
Keep up the good work!
Hahaha!! This poem was clever. I enjoyed it deeply. Many I am sure will be able to relate. I actually giggled while readying this poem. What I liked was the comparisons. There are some minor details that could be taken out that would help this poem flow a little bit better. Just remember I am not a professional editor so I could be wrong. LoL. The last stanza was cute! I like the person in the story. Many of us sometimes feel this way towards a loved one whether it as a loved one or a friend. This person is honest and I like it! People can be hilarious in their own way. Anyways very good poem! I liked it. Keep up the writing.
-Amber
Hey, Sassykat, you know how to live up to your name. Strange here, and I have a quick review for you. I didn't find this ridiculously funny, but it is funny. Very subtle. You know how to attack with a baseball bat well. I do write poems like this, so this is probably why I like it. I should really read more of your works. This was great.
Overall, good job.
Strange gives you...
8.9/10
Great job
Keep writing
Stay groovy, my amigo
Hi there!
I love the casual tone you've written this in, which really works for the subject of the poem. However, I'd like to see a little more detail in this.
At the end, for example, you have some good similes, but for most of the rest of the poem you use general language that doesn't give much of an image. Mostly: what does this person do that so annoys the narrator? Is it just that he's clingy and the narrator finds that annoying, or are there things he actually does? (Shows up when the narrator is hanging out with friends, leaves fingernail clippings in the bathroom sink, etc.)
I'd try to work that in by revising the first and second stanzas. This'll probably make the poem a bit longer, but there's no problem there.
Blue
I really like this!(: I liked the way that when I read it, each word just kind of fell into place. The quirky rhythm worked with it really well.
You truly are a sassy cat. But in a good way.
Nice poem, definitely relatable, and it made me laugh
One small thing, is that you might want to put a period at the end of each sentance, not just at the end of each stanza.
"So all in all
You're like a scab
Or a sunburn
Or dandruff."
Just wanted to say, that I loved the similes and repetition in this stanza. It was definitely my favorite part!
Anyways, great work, and I hope to read more of your poetry
~Hadj