You don't understand.
You don't even try.
You just sit there,
Acting like you might be interested,
Maybe,
If I was lucky,
If you cared even a little.
But you don't
You are a selfish demon,
Intent on ruining my life throughout this
Filthy, mortal existence
I wish would end so you wouldn't hurt me anymore.
I hate you.
I despise you more than Cane did Abel.
When you asked me for help
I wished you luck
With a serpent's forked, venomous tongue.
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139,790 Literary Works • 672,769 Reviews
I can truly sympathize with this poem the title honestly goes great with poem it's awesome i can feel the emotion it would've been great to have known who was being spoken about but that's what made it great it Could've been anyone it doesn't leave anyone without fault therefore anyone can relate to it.
This is a very emotional piece and I feel like you wrote this a lot for yourself to get some anger out, which is great. Maybe you could add a bit more detail in order to give the reader more of a picture in his/her head, which might also help the reader to empathise with you more. Apart from that, I think it is quite well written, just a little more description needed, but really channel that emotion because that will help you with your writing, to create some really emotional pieces.
Wonderful! I could feel the emotion seeping from the poem into my skull. I wont give a very detailed review (forgive me!
) but I really did like this. If you came off whinning about how this other person is unfair and deserves to die, then I wouldn't have liked it. You took a much more tactical approach. I suppose where the poem really started catching my attention was
"Acting like you might be interested,
Maybe,"
The contrast by making the first line there longer than the rest, and the other shorter than the rest puts effective emphasis on these lines and drew me further into the poem since I found those particular lines facinating.
Good writing, thanks or sharing it and keep it up