When you told me you loved me
With such intensity,
I didn't feel ready.
You didn't understand why not,
And neither did I.
So you left an angry me behind
Who didn't understand that, either;
Why do I have to say goodbye now?
It makes no sense.
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139,790 Literary Works • 672,769 Reviews
There, I changed it up a little.
I think this was too short to really give us enough of an image or to really sympathize with or relate to the narrator's situation. It's just kind of average teenage writing, not to say it's bad, but just to say that it isn't anything different to me.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver
I agree with others. This poem is very short, but it calls for the reader wonder, and ponder what became of the person, how they truly felt, and what really happened. Sometimes that is greater than longer poetry that has nothing to it and tells the reader everything. Leaving room for mystery enthralls the reader because as they think they grow and become attached to the piece by connecting themselves with certain aspects of the poem and fill in the blank form their own experiences. Good job indeed on this work. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
this is too short to really tell a story of what happens but it leaves space fro the mind to wander it gives you space to paint the rest of a story. but it's still nice for such a short poem.
I think this has a similar quality to that of a haiku. Haiku are written as little snippets in time. They don't really explicitly talk about emotion by saying "I'm angry" or anything like that, but they suggest emotion through the words, and I think that is what this poem does. You say you didn't understand, sure, but that's only one layer - the reader is left to wonder if, or assume that, you also feel upset and regretful and unhappy that you didn't feel ready. I really like how the reader is left to assume this and that you don't say it, because you don't need to say it. And that's why I like this, so well done.
Your spelling and punctuation and grammar and all that are fine, but the poem is too short to paint a picture or tell a story. If you make it longer and add more of a background to it, your viewer will be sucked in and enthralled by your writing. But when it's short like this, it's like we're about to get into the story but then it just cuts off. So make it longer and keep writing.