They say that he will come again,
He'll save the Earth from all it's sin,
And he will love and care for all,
Always there for those who call.
Helping with burdens, light for one
Who, having done what he has done,
Carries scars and cuts from times
Of ancient people, runes, and rhymes.
You left, too, leaving me
To make my way alone, blindly.
But you'll come back, be there again,
And just like Him you'll be my friend.
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139,790 Literary Works • 672,769 Reviews
I changed the entire third stanza, don't be confused by jo's post!
Hello! I'm Jojo and i shall be you reveiwer today!
Grammar is in red.
Structure is in blue.
Epic wins are in bold.
Only edits..
Lovely part, but maybe you don't need to start two of the five lines with "And"?
* Repeating "be' over again ruins the flow. Maybe you could try my suggestion to avoid this and make it a little more sentimental.
Overall:
I am serious about this. I love this poem, love the story behind it. Love it all.
and no, I am not partial to it because I am Christ-believer. Even without the spiritual element that it obviously has, it's a truly beautiful piece. With only a few minor issues, too!
And that is rare and refreshing.
Something hopeful and positive for once.
REALLY nice!
Keep writing!
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-Jojo