I lie in Summery sunshine,
Same shade as my downy coat.
Asleep am I, and quite content
To snooze away in dreams afloat.
In the next room, a heavy paper bag
Rustles a little, and rattles quietly.
I'm awake in an instant, my ears perked,
My state of mind from fuzzy to bubbly.
I heave myself out of my bed
And fairly bolt toward the door.
The hardwood tiles slide beneath me,
I nearly end up on the floor.
Around the corner I scamper and yip,
Anticipating food. I dash to the dining room,
Around another corner. I fall to my side.
Across the floor, toward the bowl...boom.
I've hit the dish, and the food's all over!
Across the floor, under the table,
Beneath the fridge, into the vent.
Guess my food bowl wasn't stable.
No matter, I can eat it still,
I just have to move around.
I get to my feet and scramble all over
Eating the food right off the ground.
Crunch, crunch, and my owner laughs.
Again and again he calls me his winner,
And says everyone should show
Such an enthusiasm for dinner.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,805 Reviews
Hiya,
I love this poem, its so cute!
I read it over a few times and your grammer is very good. It has a really cute bouncy flow and you did a good job of not making it sound too cheesy!
There isn't much else I can really say on this, but I really liked it. Keep writing, I want to see more of this style!
HAYLEY
xx
That was awesome! I was smiling and laughing through it all. I love how u give it from the dog's view and how u mintion the owner. Also I really like how descriptive you were, it really gave you the image you needed to see the puppy running and falling into the bowl. Plan and simple, this was great!
Very nice! I've never seen the commercial, but I could picture it because I've seen the clumsy eagerness of puppies before. Feeding time is serious business.
I'm not an expert on poetry, but I thought this flowed well. I especially like your choices in wording.
Definitely my favorite part.
I love this. I could really picture the puppy running and sliding. ( Maybe because I've seen the commerical? ) No I think I could picture it because you have such good description. Well anyways I love this.