My emotional puzzle.

Heya, Radiant Shadow! Casanova here to do a review for you!

Anyway, I'll be breaking this up into pieces, so I hope that you don't mind. To the review!

I not only feel them but I see them too,

Not only mine either, others too. Fact is

Sometimes theirs are easier to be handled,

Their emotions burn too hot for their touch.

I really like these lines. The emotion is there, and you're putting a tad bit of imagery in them. That's a really good thing, and I would say keep that up.

It is my priority to help them sort

out the jumble of threads wearily woven,

But I'm finding the finished challenge boring,

The colors fade and there is nothing but hush.

These are pretty good lines here, except the lines that rhyme. The woven and boring lines, I mean. It seems like the third rhyme was to only constitute the rhyme, and I didn't enjoy that. Overall you're keeping the imagery here flowing, and I love that. It's also emotional, which i like.

However, there is one that burns vibrantly,

So much emotion so much aesthetic that

I will never be able to unwind as

They are simply similar to mine they hurt.

He is my puzzle, the only one I can

Never sort out and its a blessing for I

Can learn even more about him and myself,

And that is why he will never cease to amaze me.

These lines seem rather bland compared to the first stanza. The imagery is there, but it doesn't seem as emotional as the other one. I love how you don't rhyme in this line, and it was refreshing.

Overall I think you have a somewhat strong emotional piece with strong images, and I love the nonrhyming sections. I think you should keep that up. So props.

Anyway, I think that's all I have to say on this one, and I hope it helped.

Keep on doing what you're doing, and keep on keeping on.

Your friend, Matt

This is Kaos here for a review.

I not only feel them but I see them too,

Not only mine either, others too. Fact is

Sometimes theirs are easier to be handled,

Their emotions burn too hot for their touch.

It's unclear to know what you're talking about in the first two lines and I'm thinking you're talking about emotions, but I honestly didn't know due to the first few lines being so broad. Instead of using "them" in the first line, maybe replace what "them" is in the line. It doesn't feel like a start to the poem, and rather it feels like you started sort of in the middle of something.

The wording of these first four lines generally feels sort of awkward with the things like "Fact is" which doesn't really feel like it benefits the poem so I don't see a reason for it to be in the poem.

It is my priority to help them sort

out the jumble of threads wearily woven,

But I'm finding the finished challenge boring,

The colors fade and there is nothing but hush.

Again, give the readers some more context if you want the message that you're trying to get across to be interpreted by the people who read the poem. It's like when you're writing a story and know things about the character that the readers don't because it's not in the story since you forgot to put it in; it's like that.

I thought that this was quite boring so far. The lines don't even feel like they're trying to have anything in them and feel empty instead of having imagery. This feels like a great example of a poem that is bare-boned. Imagery is the flesh to your bone, and you don't have any of it. This is a skeleton of a poem, it has structure and it has ideas that it wants to try and get across, but it doesn't have any sort of descriptions or strong metaphors to go along with that. Emotions don't mean the same thing in your mind then they do in my mind because the word is so broad, so you should try and explain it better rather than thinking the reader will know what type of emotion that you're even talking about.

I did like the last line as it was pretty and actually started to take on imagery but it didn't really continue to the next stanza which it shouldn't really, or the imagery about the colors shouldn't.

However, there is one that burns vibrantly,

So much emotion so much aesthetic that

I will never be able to unwind as

They are simply similar to mine they hurt.

He is my puzzle, the only one I can

Never sort out and its a blessing for I

Can learn even more about him and myself,

And that is why he will never cease to amaze me.

This is rather large altogether, but I only have a few things to say.

I actually liked the first stanza better than this as it just turns into a whisper of a love poem that doesn't really go anywhere because it becomes generic and I was hoping for this to turn into something more but it doesn't in my opinion. It just ends off with turning into romance that doesn't really add anything new to love poems or anything of the sort, or it doesn't do anything particularly well. I do have to say that the kind of subtle voice you have is something that I do like about the poem.

I hope I helped and have a great day.

Hey RadiantShadow, it's AshleyDashley here for a review!

First off, I really like your title, but the letters should be capitalized to be: My Emotional Puzzle. It would make it pop more and stand out.

Second your punctuation is kinda odd. You punctuate in some places, but then not in others. It kinda ruins your flow and makes it hard to read.

I not only feel them but see them too,

This is a confusing line to start with. I'm not really sure what you are talking about as you start your poem. Maybe try and give a heads up first to let the reader know you are talking about emotions. It would make things a lot clearer.

Not only mine either, but others too. Fact is

I think that you should try and reword this because it is confusing as to what your trying to say. Also I think you should put Fact is on a different line and then have a period after too. It would look better and make your poem have a better flow.

Sometimes theirs are easier to be handled,

You should first put Fact is in front of sometimes and make the s on sometimes lower case. Then you should give a hint or image as to what you are saying here or forshadownit in a line before this one because it is confusing.

Their emotions burn too hot for their touch.

Could you give a little more detail in this? Maybe compare their emotions to fire, since fire is hot. Something and I did not know emotions could be touched. Maybe find a better word like felt or sensed. It would make more sense.

It is my priority to help the sort

You stop at sort and it throws the whole poem off. Maybe say something like. It is my priority to help them with their emotions. Then start the next line with sort and separate them my a comma. It would make it flow better and be less confusing.

out the jumble of threads wearily woven,

I liked this line because it gave an image of emotions being like thread and tangled up. But maybe put sort in front of our and then end this line with a period instead of a comma to finish this thought. It would look better and not make it seem like you are running on and on.

But I'm finding the finished challenge boring,

Maybe take out but and just start this line with I'm it would look nicer and but isn't really needed here anyway. And maybe make challenge plural since your talking about more than one person and their emotions.

The colors fade and there is nothing but hush.

This line is totally confusing to me. Where did colors come from? And hush? Maybe try rewording it to make it fit more into the puzzle theme as your title suggests.

However, there is one that burns vibrantly,

I really liked this line you started with. I thought it was great. But maybe make the reader more aware your talking about him first. Maybe introduce the thought of him in it somehow? It would make more sense and let the reader know you are done talking about other people and focusing on one person now.

So much emotion so aesthetic that

This line was okay. Maybe change it to make more sense. It is unclear here as to what you are saying and you kinda just jump to another part half way thigh and it left me very confused as to what you were saying. It also broke the flow when you did that.

I will never be able to unwind as

Maybe change as to them to let the reader know you are talking about the emotions of this person. It would make it clearer and flow better. After this line too, I think you should put a period to end the thought so you can say the next line. Or even a comma would work here too.

They are simply similar to mine they hurt.

For this line you should get rid of the word simply altogether. And maybe in this line introduce him. Maybe something like His emotions are so similar to mine they hurt. It would sound more romantic and forshadownit are talking about him in the next line.

He is my puzzle, the only one I can

Okay I liked this line except maybe out emotional in front of puzzle. So the tile matches. Also you just stop with can and it totally ruins the flow and made it hard to read. Maybe put never sort out from the next line into this one to make it sound better. Then end it with a period.

Never sort out and its a blessing for I

I said some suggestions already in the last line for this. Also you use the wrong its in this. It should be it's. And maybe bring Can learn even more about him and myself to make it all one line of you take out the never sort out first. The flow would look better and it would sound less choppy.

Can learn even more about him and myself,

Take this line and move it above to the previous line and make it all one to sound better and less choppy. Also instead of a comma try a period at the end this line.

And that is why he will never cease to amaze me.

Get rid of the and I the beginning and make the t in that capitalized. This is the only thing wrong with this line. I really liked this line too, it was a great ending!

Overall it was a great poem. Just fix some of the lines and words and your all set. The flow was choppy and some lines confusing, but it was an amazing poem and I really enjoyed reading it! Keep writing and I hope to read more of your work in the future!

AshleyDashley