Watch the flames flicker in your eyesas thoughts of sinister desires cloud your mindGripped with diabolic fear at the thought of spiesUnraveling the depths of your despairthe world is condemned, it is not fairJudgment rains upon us yet no one dares to findThe victims of the secrets, of the lies people are forced to abidefor fear to be denounced as sinful and dirtyby the lies and misconceptions set by SocietyRun into the shadows fan the flames!Shoot the insanity and fire with aimRun into the shadows, burn the bridges!Disintegrate the unbreakable chainIn a world with fake love and pitiful hope
where humanity lays in ruins the ashes keep calling my namesomething inside me is gone
So I walk alone, with no conscious I won't waste my life under your mock pretenses
run in the shadows, anonymous,
We all run into the shadows anonymous.Points:
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139,784 Literary Works • 672,766 Reviews
Heya, RadiantShadow! Casanova here to do a review!
I know I've promised reviews that I haven't gotten around to yet, and I'm making up for that. Entire poetry folder sound good? I've basically promised it xD. Anyway, to the review!
Anyway, I really got the emotion that was coming from this poem, and I really did like it.
one thing I didn't like, though, was the switching of imagery. You're going for a dark, hateful poem. And I can sense that, but it seems like you're just wanting to describe everything instead of the actual story telling, and I would suggest putting an emphasis on the story you're telling, along with a bit of imagery. The emotion and imagery are really strong, but seem to be a bit opposite of each other. I would suggest toning it down, and editing it a bit. That way, it doesn't get the feeling of being overboard.
Overall I felt like this was a decent poem, however, and what story telling in here that you do have does seem to fit perfectly. My favorite line is,"I won't waste my life under your mock pretenses." I really do like that, because it's true. You don't need to waste you life doing that.
I felt like this was a decent poem that could possibly use a bit of editing, but props for what you have so far. On to the next one. I hope this helped, even a bit, and that's all I have to say.
Keep on doing what you're doing, and keep on keeping on.
Your friend, Matt
This is a pretty dark piece here! Overall, it's fairly strong, and I easily understood most of what you were trying to say. The only real thing I feel could have been a little better was the flow (unless, of course, it's not meant to have much of a flow). Other than that, I don't have much to say. Your wording was really appropriate for the atmosphere you wanted to convey, and it was enjoyable to read. Great job!
My score: 90/100. Keep up the great work!
Hey great poem you have here! I really enjoyed reading the depth in it and the choice of words you used immensely helped in heightening the mood. The first time I read the poem I will not lie i did not read the way this poem should be read, so I read it a second time and I found I liked it even more. You truly have a gift of developing emotion in your stanzas and getting the reader to feel closer to the narrator. I liked how you began the poem in a general sense speaking to everyone then moved narrower and focusing on one person and finishing the poem with the general sense again. I think it helps one to connect with the poem realizing this happens to all and to one. Overall great job! I look forward to reading more from you in the future!
Hey, I'm here for a review!
I just want to say I'm sorry ahead of time, I don't have a lot of criticism for this.
I really loved this. You really captured some of the problems we have in society perfectly. I love how you managed to fit a lot of sensitive concepts into this one poem almost flawlessly, (fake love, false hope, etc.)
Also, (this isn't about your writing, sorry,) I LOVE THE FONT!!! It is nice to read a poem with a different font than the one almost everyone uses. It drew my attention quickly.
I also liked how you kept the formatting the same for the most part. It lets readers follow along, and focus on the content, not the appearance.
I also liked how you gave so much detail, but still kept it so it applied to our society and not just one person.
One thing I would say about this poem is that throughout it all, you capitalize every new stanza or paragraph. So to keep it consistent, I would capitalize "the" in paragraph two. Sorry, that's just a nitpick.
But, overall, what an amazing piece! I'm actually really moved by this! I'd love to read more of your work!!!! You have a gift, and it shows in your powerful writing!
Happy Writing!
<3
Thank you
Hello,
First off I would like to say that this poem is beyond amazing and I love it. It is very realistic and not to mention that it is very, extremely accurate. The tone of this poem is very touching and it is almost like I can imagine everything you've written so great imagery. You're a great writer, keep up the good work.
Thank you!
Hello,
First off I would like to say that this poem is beyond amazing and I love it. It is very realistic and not to mention that it is very, extremely accurate. The tone of this poem is very touching and it is almost like I can imagine everything you've written so great imagery. You're a great writer, keep up the good work.