Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: This was a beautiful end to this chapter. It was a moment I didn't know I needed to see but now that I've read it, I can't imagine a more perfect choice for this particular moment in the story, you've chosen very well here.
Anyway let's get right to it,
There was no class today. Felaris wanted to interrogate Arafel’s remaining friends - Bardel and Zefos, but Seya was adamant that wouldn’t happen. The first sign to this was Seya forcing her to the entrance of the academy. She tried hard not to roll her eyes as to where they were going since the answer was obvious. They were going to the market, which would be packed during weekend.
‘Oh, please, I can hear your complaint,’ Seya said, a bright smile on her face, dragging Felaris by the hand to the main road. ‘Given what Hazir has said, I’m pretty sure Bardel and Zefos would give you the same answer. I heard Selis Wiliar release a new collection of dress recently. I wonder what kind of groundbreaking fashion would she bring.’
Ooooh, well this is not what I was expecting. I was totally expecting Felaris to do exactly what she stated in that first paragraph, but I kinda assumed her friend would simply go along with it, but hmm, it appears as if Seya wants to look out for her a bit and ensure she doesn't simply get completely consumed by her need for vengeance.
Felaris groaned. If there was one thing that set Seya and her apart, it was fashion. It had no purpose except for the goal of attaining beauty and attractiveness, which sometimes required the sacrifice of the wearer. Indeed, some of the ‘best’ dresses came with a waist size fitting for someone whose waist had been shaped like a doll - unrealistic. She had no need for an unpractical hobby.
‘Don’t be like that,’ Seya said, pulling Felaris’s arm closer to her. ‘It’s the market we’re going to. You can find other things there.’
Hmm, this is a fun little distinction to draw. I feel like now that we saw Ilami catch a break and relax with friends along with Gael in the previous one, this is going to create some nice balance by showing Felaris that way too. Scenes like that really do work wonders to develop characters, cause to see them in a more casual setting just hanging out with friends can tell you quite a bit about how they are as a human when not defined by revenge plots and the like.
As soon they neared the market, smell of fruits and foods wafted through the air. Felaris inhaled deeply; the delicious foods were one of the few compensations to the place’s boring outlook. Tents in various shades of brown - all dull - dominated the view. They went through the ones on the pavement, sellers’ yells already assaulting their ears.
Regardless of genders, the sellers wore sleeveless garments, usually in mud brown colour. The heat of Ciraciel expanded throughout the entire Estagria. As part of the North, the weather would always be one of Summer. Most of the sellers laid their goods on thin-surfaced tables - a few showed them by placing them in makeshift wooden shelves. Half of them sold foods while the rest brought other necessities and desires. Each of them tried to outdo their rivals, both in giving the best price and shouting the loudest.
Hmm...we have ourselves a nice new setting there I see, hmm, I didn't think we'd be going to any locations besides the academy from this point, but I like that we are getting some acknowledgment of the outside world, it makes the place feel much more realistic than if they did everything being inside the academy.
‘Hmm, the noise feels like home,’ Seya said, nodding to the busyness of the place. She inspected the goods before her eyes went fixed on a particular point. Felaris followed them, and sure enough, Seya was looking at a tent that sold dresses - folded on the tables with a few of them showcased by being hung on wooden hangers. Those hangers were long sticks with a base on their feet and a hook on their head - you can pulled one of them to lengthen it and vice versa. ‘Heaven calls. Let’s go.’
Oooh, I love that little hint of perhaps Seya's backstory. I love how you do manage to keep all of your characters unique and developed enough to easily identify despite the sheer number of them that we've got at the moment. Your more secondary characters also have quite a bit of rich backstory behind them and it really does show in places like these.
‘The reptile-like one’s definitely made for you,’ Seya said, smiling. ‘For me though, the black one’s simply gorgeous. The rose is a nice touch. I wonder how much it costs, though.’
Felaris chuckled. ‘Seya, these dresses are for women. You’re too young for them.’
Seya raised her eyebrow. ‘I’m going to save money for it, you’ll see.’ She touched the fabric of the black one and sighed. ‘Smooth to the touch - definitely my favourite.’
Hmm, well seeing the two friends interacting there with Seya completely in her element by the looks of things and Felaris sort of grudging following along makes for a pretty wholesome little scene. I'm loving this side of Felaris that you showcase, so far we've seen her only display anger, a desire for revenge and maybe moments of sadness. To see her act her age and be happy for once really rounds out her character well and stops her from just becoming "the villain" and I love seeing that.
Felaris shook her head, smiling. Seya was from House Lilia, known for its matriarchal structure. They manufactured fabrics, and this in turn nurtured her fascination of fashion as her parents made her to accompany them to various boutiques and factories. While other houses might view House Lilia as a harmless, vain family, Felaris knew each member of it was trained with combat to protect themselves from enemies, who, frankly speaking, often referred to men. Seya’s luscious black hair and ripe red lips were the evidence of beauty of House Lilia.
Hmm...I felt like that dipped a little dangerously into the territory of the old infodump, but I'll let that one slide cause it is still essential information that's been trickled down to us. I just feel like perhaps it can be improved by making the description a bit shorter so that it doesnt' threaten to break the flow of the scene like this is doing at the moment.
‘Well, we’ve seen enough, haven’t we?’ Felaris said, turning to the food section of the market. The smell of fried puffs and burnt sweets seduced her, pulling her with an invisible force. She found herself leading Seya to the origin of the scent.
‘Honestly, Felaris, you never change,’ Seya grumbled.
‘Whatever you say,’ Felaris said. They were in front of a tent selling food when something else caught Felaris’s eyes. At the corner of the lines of the shops was one that was hard to notice at first sight - it was overshadowed by the tall building overhead, but the goods displayed were unmistakable.
Ooooh, this is the first thing that Felaris seems to actively want to go check out..so that's an interesting detail, I feel like maybe this could be something important to come here...well, we'll find out soon enough I suppose.
Arafel used to pamper her with wooden carvings. Figures and toys, he could make them non-stop. It was as if when he saw a piece of wood, a mysterious part of him took control. This part of him knew only one thing: art. It was as if the god took control of his body to make masterful creations. Their father disapproved of his hobby - he was supposed to take charge of their family business one day - but Mother once said humanity laid in the beauty of art.
Tears started to well in her eyes. It had been so long since she cried, since she let anger took control of her instead of sadness. The truth was, she couldn’t bear the loss of him. He was the sunlight in her life, the roof that sheltered her from the rain others brought down to her. While her parents treated her like she was their heir, not their daughter, he treated her like she was his sister. The only sister he wanted, because she couldn’t imagine he would show the same devotion to caring to others should they take her place.
Oh dear here we go...well its no surprise the carving drew her eyes there...wow, well it appears we're headed towards a pretty emotional moment here...and hmm, seeing this grief is actually a really good strategy here. This sort of moment really helps justify her other actions, so far we've seen her mostly just be a bit cruel almost towards others, with slight moments of weakness, but now seeing the effect her brother's death truly has on her and having her be this vulnerable, really helps solidify what her motives are.
Her knees felt weak and she allowed them to release the burden - her. But before they could hit the ground, Seya grabbed her arms, her strength making sure Felaris was standing. She looked at Seya and saw the the determination in her friend’s eyes.
‘Look, Felaris,’ Seya said, all cheerfulness in her voice gone. ‘I know you love Arafel. He’s even perhaps the person you love most. But I’m here with you. Veris is here with you. He helps you to figure out Arafel’s death with his brain. What do you think I’m here for?’
Ahh Seya is being an even more awesome friend and this moment is constructed really well here. Its a very sad moment, and I'm somehow who doesn't always like moments like this but you've really constructed an awesome one, and one that really does quite a lot for making the motivations going on in this group of friends feel so much stronger than they were at the start.
Seya pulled Felaris into an embrace. Finally, Felaris cried out. Releasing everything - the loss of Arafel. His smile. His mischievous eyes. The finger he put on his lips when he was about to do something others wouldn’t approve. His arms that embraced her when she felt like crying. His voice, the most soothing music she ever had.
‘Let it all out,’ Seya said softly, holding Felaris’s cheek to look at her. ‘But don’t lose yourself. Never lose yourself. I won’t allow that. Veris won’t allow that. Do you understand?’
Felaris nodded.
Ahh....well, this one almost made me run for the tissues here...its such a sweet moment especially towards the end. You can see the budding nature of the friendship between Ilami and Aleveri contrasting very strongly with this much stronger and clearly much older friendship shared here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, I really love this moment, at this all feels rather final so far. We've had sort of both groups of friends have a strong moment, this one of reinforcement of motive and earlier with Ilami and the foundation of a strong group of friends. Its all coming together beautifully and while I can't wait to find out what happens next.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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