Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Okayy...so this part of the conversation somehow ended up being even more impactful than the previous one. I did not see that coming but I think this was definitely a good direction for the conversation to be taking.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Not so fast, Gael thought. ‘But she still told you without my permission, so you have to tell me something in return.’
Ilami tilted her head. ‘I don’t really think there’s something you want to know about me. We just met.’
Gael shook his head. ‘There was something you said when you saved me from Baris.’ He picked a stone and threw it to the field, watching as it sunk into the grass. ‘About killing a man.’
Ilami’s eyes widened. ‘I said that?’
‘Well, it was the best threat you could give to Baris,’ Gael said, shrugging. ‘Avoided the fighting nonsense before it began. Anyway. Is it true? You killed a person before?’
Oooh, this is an interesting turning of the tables right here...I did not expect things to really take this turn, but I love how Gael is trying to make things a bit more of a level playing field here. It seems a bit more in character there for someone his age and if Ilami does in fact manage to share something this personal truthfully, this could actually go some distance to truly strengthening this budding friendship that they have going on here.
Ilami bent her legs and hugged them, the lower half of her face buried between them. It took a few seconds before she spoke again. ‘It’s true. I killed a man... by force. I had to. It was either him or me.’
Gael frowned. ‘How could that be? Why should you involve in that kind of stuff in the beginning? Did you do something illegal.’
Hmm, well that's the sort of reaction that you expect Gael to make. I do like how Ilami tries not to lie there, she immediately does try to sort of justify it and put in perspective, but considering she isn't exactly lying and is telling the truth that seems pretty fair. It is not exactly the easiest thing to admit that you've killed someone.
‘No, it wasn’t that,’ she said, her voice dropping. ‘It was a test. Mother set it up for me. I thought what I should do was beat the guy. When that happened, he told me to kill him. He told me that was the real test - to kill him. I couldn’t believe it - it was so ridiculous - but he was persistent. He was injured. He should escape. Instead he begged me to kill him because it was either that or the both of us live. He couldn’t kill me in that state. If no one died, we failed the test.’ Ilami closed her eyes.
Mrs. Venaria did that to her daughter? Gael thought. No wonder Ilami easily doubts people. He gulped. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t know it’d be this personal -’
Hmm, that's a pretty nicely done explanation. I think its acts as a nice little summary for us too because it has been ten chapters now since we saw it all go down, so this sort of just gives us a good reminder of exactly what her mother put her through. I also love how Gael realizes that he unexpectedly stumbled upon something super personal and moves to apologize despite the fact that his own secret revealed but earlier was just as personal if not more.
Ilami waved it away. ‘It’s okay. I have to get it out somehow. I tried to avoid thinking about it, but sometimes it just gets into my mind, and I don’t have anyone to talk about it.’ She paused. ‘Well, I have Aleveri, but I don’t know how she would react if she knows her friend’s a murderer. A killer.’
Gael grabbed Ilami’s hand, gripping it. ‘You can’t say that. Like you said, you were forced. You don’t want to, but you don’t have other choice. Stop blaming yourself for it.’
Hmm, this is a good moment here. It feels like maybe we finally get to see a proper reaction from Ilami about this murder since the end of the first chapter. So far we've seen that whole incident get some mentions but it was never emotionally powerful like it is here and I like that. It gives the sense that maybe for a while Ilami bottled it all up inside and tried no to think about it but in front of Gael she feels like she trusts him enough to let it out a bit more.
‘But I am, though, am I not?’ Tears fell from Ilami’s eyelids. ‘I am a murderer. I did kill a man. No matter under what circumstance I was in, I ended a man’s life. What kind of a decent person would be able to do that?’
‘You’ll die if you don’t do it!’ Gael shook her shoulder. ‘Look at me. What you did was wrong, true, but you weren’t to blame. It was Mrs. Venaria’s. She made this sick test for you. She even told the man to kill you - what kind of mother is that? I used to admire her, really, but hearing this, I just can’t - My parents won’t do that to me.’
Well....that is the sort of reaction you expect...pretty much, although maybe I wouldn't be that quick to judge Mrs. Veneria...there really is no telling what other factors might have played a part in that test which she had to undergo there. BUt hmm, definitely a very justifiable response though from Gael and him suddenly questioning his faith in Mrs. Venaria also is very much justified response there.
Ilami smiled, her lips quivering. ‘You have good parents, Gael. I can’t say the same to mine. Even Father rarely meets me.’
Gael leaned back, looking at Ilami with a new perspective. He thought she would be the typical principal’s daughter - spoiled and talented, but she wasn’t anything he expected. She had a strong sense of morality despite her skepticism of people, and her past was dark. He had heard about her brother, Alyosha - how people praised him for being a remarkable Scholar student with a heart of a stone, and it affected his initial judgment of her.
Hmm, well this is an interesting bit of reflection there from Gael here. I didn't quite detect him being this suspicious of Ilami but it does make sense that he would have a few prejudices there.
He rested his hand on Ilami’s shoulder. ‘You have me. Hopefully this doesn’t sound as boasting, but I’m a good friend. Alever is even better. You can tell her what happened - she won’t judge. You saw her heal me. Although she viewed me as her academy rival, she knew the right thing to do - just like you. And even Haka will accept you. More people will welcome you.’
Ilami let out a weak chuckle. ‘You’re good at motivating people.’ She wiped her tears before looking around. ‘I hope no one saw me crying.’
Hmm...this whole second part here has been very interesting here, and it does look like my earlier prediction is going to be correct. This is definitely a nice little bonding session for these two here and it is nice to see that a revelation like this only seems to be making this budding friendship stronger and it looks like the other two of the group will also fall into that category if she does tell them.
‘Don’t worry, no one wants to see your hideous crying face.’
Ilami smiled, this time it was firmer. ‘I should burn you,’ she said with sugar on top.
‘Don’t be rude to your teacher!’ Gael said, frowning before breaking into a grin. Then, it disappeared. ‘I do have to wonder though - why did the man want you to kill him? I mean, I know he couldn’t kill you, but he could escape, couldn’t he?’
Hmm, well this was a cute little moment there. We haven't seen any easy banter between these two so far, and this is the very first sign of such a thing happening and I already love it. Hopefully we get to see some more friendly banter happening soon. Of course this moment is then followed by a very interesting question. I'm not surprised that someone like Gael spotted that little detail and questioned her further on it, but its not going to be easy answering a question like that for poor Ilami.
Ilami’s face turned sorrowful, but when she spoke, the guilt in her voice lessened. ‘He had a family. They were the reason he became a part of my test - the final one before I entered the academy.’ She sighed. ‘By killing him, I hurt those he loved and who loved him back. With the way he sacrificed himself, it didn’t surprise me.’
Gael looked at the field - a few students ran towards each other, fueled by the energy of youth. Distant laughter filled the silent air. ‘So sad,’ he said softly. ‘You, him, Ms. Venaria. They say the world is cruel, but really, the people are crueler.’
Hmm...well he's gone into a full loss of faith humanity moment there. Its almost a bit too much but then considering the kind of person he is it makes sense that such a thing could sort of shake him a bit to his core there especially because trusted Ilami's mother so much.
‘Brooding about it doesn’t help,’ Ilami said. ‘I’ll stop whatever evil plan Mother wants to carry out after this. First of all, I’m going to the man’s family to apologize for what has been done to him.’
‘Are you sure about that? They can get mad to you - it’s a ridiculous idea.’
Ilami shook her head. ‘I don’t care. It’ll at the very least makes me feel less guilty. Zivil Ayesis deserves that. His family can choose not to forgive me, but they’ll know I didn’t mean to kill him. I -’
Hmm, I think she did make this promise to herself back in chapter one didn't she? Or did she? I feel like she maybe did, but at any rate, its good to see her take a decision like that. Although I have a feeling it won't be a pleasant visit considering that the whole name situation suggests that Mrs. Veneria didn't spare his family after all.
‘Wait, what? What did you say?’ The name caught Gael’s attention like a raven of death. It couldn’t be. ‘What did you say his name was?’
Ilami frowned. ‘Zivil Ayesis. Do you know him?’
Oh Serra. ‘You can’t go to his family, Ilami. The moment you tell them you were forced to kill him, they will kill you. In fact, I think Mrs. Venaria has done all she can to protect you from them.’ He stood up, pulling Ilami with him. Suddenly, it was difficult to breath.
Ohhh yes it was Gael who told us the name of Daniel Ayesis, of course, this makes a lot of sense that he'd make this connection and immediately warn her off. This conversation once again taking a turn that I was not expecting but definitely in a good direciton.
Closing his eyes, Gael rubbed his temples. He wanted to explain to Ilami why she shouldn’t continue with her plan, but worry tugged him to go somewhere else. Somewhere safer and less public if they wanted to have a proper discussion about this. ‘Let’s go to Haka’s dorm. I’ll explain to you there.’
Ilami opened her mouth to say something before closing it. She folded her arms. ‘Out of all places, why did you choose Haka’s dorm? Why not go to yours?’
‘Most students are scared of Haka. They won’t want to go near him, including his roommate even. We’re going to be safe there.’
Oooh, the dots are going to connected here. This should be another very interesting conversation to come. I can't wait to see what Gael is going to end up telling her here. Perhaps he even knows somethings that have not yet been revealed in the story.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, I think a lot of pretty good stuff went down here in this chapter. Quite a few revelations of sorts, secrets shared and I feel like this is really moving in this chapter as some of the more personal things got shared. This conversation changing from academic to personal and ending like this makes for a lovely little rollercoaster here and I can't wait to see what will come up next.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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