z

Young Writers Society


12+

until tomorrow comes, again.

by EllieMae


When I remember,

that you would still love me tomorrow,

even if I wasn't here,

-

it makes me wait.

-

Living a day with you,

is closer than I would ever be,

six feet in the ground.

I cannot hold you, while I lie in my grave.

I cannot imagine the day

you plant my body like a seed,

and water the earth above me,

praying for any ounce of feeling.

-

I know that you would still love me

tomorrow.

And that you will love me

everyday.

I know that you would love me,

as a sunrise

and as the frost on the field

and as the smiles you see on other's faces.

-

It makes me think of the infinite days

I will have,

being loved by you.

And how much better they would be,

if I lay in your arms.

-

I would rather hold you,

than be the sunset you cry to.

I would rather guide you,

than be your star in the sky.

I would rather chase you in the snow,

than be the snowflake that lands on your cheek.

And I would rather be the last one you kissed,

than your last kiss.

-

So, I will wait another day.

Stay another day.

Live another day.

Breathe another day,

And feel every feeling.

-

Until tomorrow comes, again.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
8 Reviews


Points: 533
Reviews: 8

Donate
Sat Jan 13, 2024 1:34 am
View Likes
catapparently wrote a review...



Oh. My. Gosh.

THIS STANZA, I REPEAT, THIS STANZA:

"I would rather hold you,

than be the sunset you cry to.

I would rather guide you,

than be your star in the sky.

I would rather chase you in the snow,

than be the snowflake that lands on your cheek.

And I would rather be the last one you kissed,

than your last kiss."

Oh. MY. GOSH. I don't know how to explain it, but it hits SO hard and it's SO beautifully written. Even though I believe this poem is written about a romantic love interest, I can relate to the main idea in this stanza in so many ways. For example, as a kid I used to fight a bit with my best friend (heh, some kids [me, I started it I admit] are so immature and pick fights over nothing...). I was so stubborn, and even though I knew I was in the wrong, I was still waiting for her to apologize (for doing nothing wrong!). I was such a drama queen, and I kept thinking, "When is she going to apologize? I'd rather she get over it and we make up so that we can be friendsies again instead of this game of back and forth and her crying over it..."

Anyways, loved the poem, and LOVED LOVED LOVED that stanza!!!!

P.S... How do I quote a part of a post properly? I've seen it in other reviews where people quote a part and it appears with a yellowish background but I'm not sure how to do it...






Also, though I related that stanza to a fight between friends, I did interpret it more as the character played by the author considering the possibility of not being with the lover alive but still wanting to be with them through everything. That stanza just made me think of so many things...



EllieMae says...


Thank you so so so much! <33

You can visit here: The Big Book of YWS Codes to see lots of codes for YWS!

To quote something you do: [quote.]put text here[/quote] (just remove the period after the first quote and it will work!



User avatar
9 Reviews


Points: 2385
Reviews: 9

Donate
Sat Jan 13, 2024 12:02 am
View Likes
Mint wrote a review...



I really enjoyed this poem. It didn’t give things away too quickly, despite being relatively short. The “it makes me wait” is very intriguing, I want to know what you’re waiting for and I appreciate that you expand on what waiting means for you and your loved one, what impulsivity would mean, you still being loved but being reduced to the symbols of how we feel our lost loved ones.

This is subjective because of course it’s a short poem and about the feeling of love specifically, I would have enjoyed more details on what it feels like to be loved and how that love encourages you to see the good in the world even if that good is only your one person. What do they show you about the world that makes you want to stick around, besides the vague notion of love?

This is well written and I really enjoyed the imagery!





I am big enough to admit I am often inspired by myself.
— Leslie Knope