You were my confidence.
I looked you in the eyes and you
laughed without fear.
You covered me with your shadow
in the sun.
-
And you taught me to dance on the moon,
in the dead of night,
when I was alone.
-
Alone but not lonely,
You whispered to me.
I shooed you away,
but your hands were my stepping stones,
towards grace and self-love.
-
I was an awful dancer,
but you choreographed rituals and routines.
We moved together,
in perfect synchronization.
-
My heartbeat became a symphony.
You are my confidence.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,027 Literary Works • 672,768 Reviews
Hey, Aliyah, this poem is so cute! This is not a review or anything: But I am kind of curious about why you used past tense towards "you" throughout the poem but then used present tense in the last line. I would like to know the poet's interpretation.
AWWWW this poem is so cute. I'm a lover girl and love sweet poems like this. This was definitely very well thought-out and written. I enjoy your word play! Especially when you said, "I was an awful dancer, but you choreographed rituals and routines."
And I feel like the title really captures the overall message of the poem. If I'm not mistaken, the poem is showing me that you pushed someone away. Someone who really cared for you and tried to help you become better and they helped you feel less alone, although you wanted to stay alone. (Correct me if I am wrong though lol)
I love how well written this is. Amazing work <3
Hi @AilahEvelynMae I'm here to do a really short review on your poem so lets dive straight in shell we!
I love the title for this I feel like it really draws a reader into find out what it actually means, because I was looking in the green room and this out of all the other things was the first thing that caught my eyes.
Then when I started reading there was never a moment where I was disappointed, your lines and words where fluid and just blended together so beautifully.
These are such nice lines to start the poem and get the reader hooked, its a perfect start to the poem and then your keep that pace till the very end.
I do think that the last two lines where my favorite lines throughout the poem, I don't know why but I feel like that last lines and your very first line to your poem really spoke to me
so over all this was such a wonderful poem to read and I'm glad that I clicked on it, your an amazing writing and should never stop doing it
I hope you have a great day/night whichever side of the world you're on.
@Dossereana Flying Over The Green Room And Spreading Shards Of Encouragement
Hello!! This is my favourite poem of yours so far. It just gets me, you know?
"You were my confidence.
I looked you in the eyes and you
laughed without fear.
You covered me with your shadow
in the sun."
I love this personification of confidence. The "laughed without fear" part is really good. I actually learn something from this poem because you talk about how confidence leads you toward grace and self love.
Most of all, I liked the title. "Alone but no lonely" is really awesome.