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Young Writers Society


16+ Mature Content

Souvenirs Upon Your Skin.

by EllieMae


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

TW: Implied Self Harm

-
You have not ruined your body.

Your life is a story.

The souvenirs of your journey

Have only crafted your heart.

-

And brought you deep enough

Into the waters of sorrow,

That you speak

A language that is only understood

By someone who has been broken.

-

Let me say this again,

You have not ruined your body.

You have not discoloured your skin.

You have not made your figure into

A frame that is unable to possess beauty.

-

You have won every battle.

-

And for that,

You deserve love that is deeper than

The ocean.

I lie awake at night,

Staring at the sky filled with your tears,

Marveling at the wonder

Of such a perfect creation.

-

A perfect creation,

crafted only through flaws,

And pain,

And hurt.

That seemed like it would

Never end.

-

As a shooting star

Crosses the deep, dark, void of black,

I think of you.

And I think about how

You have not ruined your body.

-

And I think about,

How I love you.

Oh, if you could see

How you shine.

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5 Reviews

Points: 118
Reviews: 5

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Sat Mar 16, 2024 11:19 pm
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PEL wrote a review...



Hi Ailah,
Are you talking about yourself in this poem or are you speaking to another. It doesn't matter. The poem works either way. You describe a journey which may have left scars, but you are at peace with that. Beauty always shines from within and you have found that the scars no longer matter, they were just a record of the journey. I think it is a beautiful, life affirming poem and well written.
It is positive and healing and anyone reading this poem will feel inspired to find the beauty within. I think your poem speaks to many, who are struggling in a painful way to find that peace within. Well done, keep writing your poems. PEL.




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231 Reviews

Points: 40897
Reviews: 231

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Sat Mar 16, 2024 9:16 pm
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RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello Again, My Friend!

You have graced us with yet another incredible poem! There is a somber tone here that I get, but also a sense of courage and empowerment, being extended to whoever may think they're in a ruined body. Your message is clear and true: flaws are a mark of victory, not of defeat. And I love it ~

As far as a more technical review goes, no complaints! No errors, fine structure, and great word choice.

It's extremely hard to choose a favorite line, but the ones that stood out most to me would likely be this:

The souvenirs of your journey

Have only crafted your heart.


Just the analogy you chose, and the way you framed it, was incredible and set the tone right off the bat. Then, the ending:

Oh, if you could see

How you shine.


Ending on that note, telling this person that someone sees their beauty even if they themself can't, is so powerful and beautiful -great way to wrap up these sentiments and tie it all together.

Overall, incredible piece, and as always, nicely done! :)

(also, with how many of your poems I've read and enjoyed, I can't believe it took me this frickin long to give you a follow XD)

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