I'm so tired,
-
but I feel this way every day
and I never want to wake up.
-
I'll do it tomorrow,
-
but I say that every night.
I can't remember the last time
I wanted tomorrow to come.
-
I love you,
-
but there is no way I can be sure
you won't leave me
once you have seen me suffer.
Once you have seen my weakness.
-
I know things can get better,
-
but that doesn't give me a reason to smile
right now.
And it doesn't make changing my life
feel any more possible.
-
I'm trying my best,
-
and I am learning to accept that best
doesn't always equal completion.
It's hard to love myself.
But I still try.
-
I still try to say everything I feel,
-
but sometimes
tears are only tears.
Sunsets are only sunsets.
And my freckles are not a map of constellations
that will help me find you again.
-
Or find me again.
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140,084 Literary Works • 672,994 Reviews
Hello, fellow author! I decided to deliver a bird-themed review for you, partially inspired by the YWS S'more Method! Let’s dive right into it! (Bird-style, of course)
Bird’s-Eye View: First Impressions!
Gahhhhh, I loved this poem!!! That was genuinely the first thing that came to mind.
I can totally relate to the first two stanzas; I'm such a huge procrastinator. (I'm currently writing this review while thinking about the three assignments I have due tomorrow.)
This poem beautifully conveys the difference between our thoughts and actions; what we want to do versus how we follow through. Your beautiful word choice and interesting structure really tie it all together!
Flying High: Things I Loved!
I adore the formatting you chose for this poem. The use of italics also adds emphasis to the individual lines, as well as keying us into the idea that those statements are your thoughts. The contrast between the single-line stanzas and the longer stanzas creates a beautiful juxtaposition that adds flavor to the piece.
I also love the progression of slow understanding throughout the piece. This poem tells a story of learning and growth.
At the beginning, we see statements of near judgment and beratement, but toward the end, we see a slow acceptance of the person you are, and the fact that you are trying, and that is sometimes all you can do.
Bird Song: Favorite Lines!
Not only do I love this imagery, but I also love the inclusion of the last stanza, almost as if it's an afterthought. It is a powerful last line.
This is literally me every time I have to do something. I related to this so so much, and I love the way you worded the last line.
Preen Your Feathers: A Bit of Advice!
Honestly, I didn't notice a thing that I could give a critique on. I love this poem through and through!
Lifting Off: Closing Thoughts!
Overall, you created a wonderful and powerful poem. Your use of metaphor, italics, and contrast portrayed a beautiful story. This poem was enjoyable to read, and you conveyed your emotions well. Lovely poem!
Keep writing! -Avian
Wow. This is a hugely impactful piece. I find it very meaningful and relatable, speaking as someone who suffers from depression. You’ve captured those complicated feelings so well. This is a really brilliant depiction of what it’s like to live with depression. I hope you’re doing OK. You’re very talented and I look forward to reading more from you. Good job!