​You can’t throw stones while washing feet.

Hey, Kaerae here! Welp, I found that poetry you mentioned that was still sitting in the green room since March (great meme btw) and I’m just gonna do a review while I’m here~

To start I like how the phrase

You can’t throw stones

While washing feet.

is not only italics, but also in your title. After reading it, it makes me think that you are talking about “being in the right place at the feet of Jesus” so to speak. Like when you are busy focusing on your spiritual aspects, you don’t have time to worry about hurting others. I also like the line breaks in the poem

-

it really just makes you pause and consider each stanza as it goes by. So that’s how I will break it down.

beginning:

Those who have tasted rocks,
along the path they tread,
Have been embraced with humility

Okay a few important things to note here. The phrase itself of washing feet, already implies a low position. Nobody wants to be washing feet that are dirty. That’s not my ideal career anyway, but it shows a person, on the ground, submitting and humble. And I like you incorporate that theme into this stanza. We know elder folks are always wise and humble because of what they have gone through, in this case the heavy stones that were (thrown at them? Or maybe carried?). Either way, everything in this stanza sets it up for the next…

middle:

The imprints of boulders,
Grace their shoulders.
And pebbles pry at their skin,
Slicing their spine,
Until they bleed.

alright so how the stones are hurting this person is expanded, which gives a whole lot more detail. The imagery in this stanza is perfect, as it builds up the tone. The last line here reminds me of that phrase “blood sweat and tears”. We know that this is more of a spiritual story, but I can’t help but think of all the effort it takes to wash someone’s feet while stones are being thrown at them. Also, instead of “grace” I read “graze”. Not sure if you meant it like that, but looking back only did I see my mind played tricks on me.

ending:

Their blood falls like tears,
As they reflect on the stones they threw,
And the single sided battles they won.
The real battle was within,
Grace withered like a dried flower.

and again we got the “blood sweat and tears” analogy, but this time it’s like you expand it. In this stanza you talk about the people who aren’t washing feet, but rather throwing stones. And even though we think we win battles, spiritually, we cannot win anyway when we aren’t at the feet of Jesus. I like how this played out and how you broke it down and expanded on all of the themes here. And of course, the repetition of words plays a huge role~ overall, great work!


Keep writing,
Kaerae

Hi EllieMae!

Thought I'd stop in for a review -- your title caught my attention since it's Easter this week. It's been a hot second since I've reviewed anything, so let me know if I need to clarify any of my comments!

You can’t throw stones

While washing feet.

To start off, your title is the repeated phrase which both opens and closes your poem. It clearly evokes the teachings of Christ (at least for me! though it's possible there is other inspiration behind it), but it's also two different phrases/situations that I've never seen put together like this. So, intriguing. I want to return to what I think this phrase might mean in the context of the rest of this poem.

Those who have tasted rocks,

along the path they tread,

Have been embraced with humility.

Hm! This was an interesting note to start off on. After having been presented with two versions of an active person -- one who throws stones and one who washes feet -- we see someone in a more passive position: someone who has "tasted rocks." Instead of the stone thrower, we see the person who had stones thrown at them. And, "tasted rocks" is a really visceral way to bring readers into the poem.

This stanza brings up two questions for me -- are these people the ones who wash feet? And, who are they being embraced by? Or is it just being embraced by humility?

The imprints of boulders,

Grace their shoulders.

And pebbles pry at their skin,

Slicing their spine,

Until they bleed.

I think that this is my favorite stanza. I feel like it's where you really dig into the poem, both thematically and in your language!

I love the "boulders/shoulders" rhyme, and how it not only implies people throwing rocks at them, but the fact that maybe they have to carry these rocks with them for a long time, they're burdened with it. The rocks have grown into boulders, and yet they somehow "grace" those who bear them, an interesting contradiction.

The "pebbles pry" and "slicing... spine" also give us some nice alliteration.

Their blood falls like tears,

As they reflect on the stones they threw,

And the single sided battles they won.

The real battle was within,

Grace withered like a dried flower.

If the "they" in this stanza are still those with the imprints of stones... does this mean that they were stone throwers, too? I wonder, then, who are the ones who wash feet? Is there no one?

I'm also curious about the battles. It sounds as if throwing stones is a one-sided battle, because the other person doesn't fight back, but it withers their inner grace, meaning they really were on the losing end of the battle.

Then, you close out with your opening stanza again.

Here's a couple of overall thoughts I had:

I'm a little sad that washing feet never came up as an image! I really like the way you put together those two ideas, but it would have been nice to see a reference to the latter outside of the opening and closing stanzas.

However, you do take the stone throwing image pretty far, which is great. I like the lot of the imagery you have surrounding that, and I think it's a strong point of your poem.

What could, I think, be tightened up a bit more is two things. First of all, the transition of the people who have been hit by stones to the stone throwers. I think it might help to clarify whether these two groups are actually the same, or, if they're different, what does that relationship look like?

The second thing is the imagery in that last stanza -- battles, blood, and a flower. The blood definitely links to the middle stanza, which is nice. The battles and flower are a little more vague. They're nice, but your rock imagery was so concrete that it would be interesting to see language with more of a connection to the previous two stanzas. For example, what if grace turned to stone? (or that's probably making the stone throwing/hitting even more confusing XD)

I think you're playing with some really fascinating ideas here, and kudos to you for taking this kind of theme on! It's definitely a poem that encourages you to think, especially with that recurring stanza.

I was glad to come across this today! Let me know if you have any questions.

-Q