the monkeys
and bears
and tears
blur together.
-
just like
the spoons
and suitcases
and clay vases.
-
what i remember most
is your little voice.
your giggles.
you tears.
-
the plastic superhero figures
floating in the bathtub,
making witch potions with bubbles.
trying to build a snowman.
and failing.
-
i remember the monkey,
doing gymnastics on the piano bench.
and the dog,
wearing the clothes we cut out of socks.
i remember folding laundry
and always being the one
who did all of the work.
-
you were always the last one at the table.
i remember when we were smaller
it was just us.
and the monkeys
and the bears
and all of the tears.
-
and now
its just me
and everything i want to say to you
everything i need you to feel
every hug you deserve.
i deserve.
-
and every moment
that i miss those moments.
but there is nothing i can do to bring back those feelings again.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the spooky S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - It’s that start of a poetry novel, bringing back the faded-bright thoughts of playgrounds and sunshine.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think that you meant to say “your tears” at one point, but that’s just what I don’t think. You don’t have to listen to this.
Chocolate Bar - My favorite part about the poem would have to be the superhero toys in the bathtub, it makes me think of childhoods of the past in all of the pretending. It’s sad, it’s beautiful.
Closing Graham Cracker - A poem that seems to look into fond memories of nostalgia, tinted by how the world has changed, and how much has changed. It would make one wonder how long they can hold onto an ideal, innocent life…
I wish you an amazing day/night! ^v^
Hello again and wow! This is another great poem. You’re so good at capturing emotion and imbuing it in your work. This made me feel things, and that’s always a sign of a strong, well written work. I love your language choices and creative spark, the way you describe things is so distinctive and original. Yet another memorable, poignant poem. Good job!