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140,079 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
Here is the text version, for anyone who wants to copy/paste for a review/comment.
Where all wild things go,
Spoiler
There is a place for you, where all wild things go,
Someday you will join the earth, entering your home.
Your body, like dust, will join the sparrows in the trees,
As I cry and whisper, you can go now, my love, please.
You will be with the fish, swimming gently in our stream,
Mother nature will embrace you, with her warmest sunbeams.
And I will still see you, with the crawling bugs and dragonflies,
Although I know there will never be a day without tears in my eyes.
Someday, when I leave this earth, all I will be is free,
And the first one I will see is you frolicking towards me.
Finally strong, no longer constrained by the pains of your old bones,
At that moment, I will know, I have finally found my home.
The inspiration:
This poem means a lot for me, so just reading this means the world to me <33
Hey Ellie! I'm here.... for the in-depth review activity! And I am so pleased to have received your poem to review as I always enjoy reading your poetry and haven't had a chance to review it at least for a while here!
Let's take a look ~
First Impressions / Interpretation
So, I scrolled down and read your author sticky before reading, and I kind of wish I hadn't because I think this poem could be read as both an ode to a lost / passed cat or pet or the loss of a person - and I think that makes it a lot more interesting to be read either way. You might consider enspoilering the pic of your cat? Unless you really want readers to go that direction in their reading with it. I think because it can be read both ways it sort of enhances the message to show a cat can be loved in a similar way to a person and that the loss / hope / fear is just as deep.
I want to say on a personal note before I get too much further, that assuming this poem was written from personal experience, I am very sorry for your loss and am hoping writing this brought you some peace. Martin Luther, my personal favorite theologian, once said he fully expected to see his dogs with gold and silver pelts when he gets to heaven - so hopefully that is some comfort to you too. :')
My interpretation of this poem is that the speaker is reflecting on the loss of a beloved pet and their experience with death is a desire to believe that life continues on even after - that there's still movement and spirit and life and meaning. They compare how their pet will be part of the living earth, and how one day that will be their fate too. They reflect on death personally as the place where they will one day reach freedom, and their final home. The poem is quite spiritual and reflective - but without being too heady - > I think anyone who has experienced loss of the life of a loved one can appreciate and connect with these hopes at some level, and that especially for people of faith the poem may convey some solace to dealing with loss too. I love spiritual poems, so this was a good read for me.
Though I initially read this from a Christian lens, I would say you kind of tip toe around Christian themes, and maybe even touch on some themes that could be considered consistent with Eastern-religions too -> with freedom from the physical confines of the "self" and the possibility of "reincarnation". I think that's really okay - and makes the poem approachable to many different backgrounds.
Feedback... Stanza by Stanza
I want to check out each stanza directly here!
* Stanza One
I felt like the end-line punctuation was a bit hard to make sense of in this stanza. I couldn't find a pattern you were using unless the pattern is just that you are doing every couplet as "comma / period" no matter what the content of the line says?
I might punctuate it this way personally:
I like the italics of "you can go now, my love, please" it shows the specificity / realness of the moment and allows you to get away without dialogue tags which can look a tad clunky - > also had good continuity with ending of Stanza Three.
I like the image of dust floating up / flying with sparrows -> that is a pretty image to me! :')
* Stanza Two
Love how you say "our" stream -> gives a sense of past narrative, without spelling out a whole story! <3
Might consider capitalizing "Nature" to really lean into the personification?
I like the images in lines 1, 2, 3 -> but I feel the flow / sense of line 4 struggles a bit - gets a bit clunky in part because it's nearly a double-negative. "There will never / without" I would work to rephrase that ... maybe to be "Although I continue to see you, with the crawling bugs and dragonflies, / I know my vision will come through tears." or "And I will still see you, among the crawling bugs and dragonflies, / But tears come with the seeing just as well."
Just some ideas! I think "Although" is working against line 3 a bit because I'm thinking "Although.... what?"
You may also consider finding a more romantic adjective than "crawling" which I think doesn't quite fit the tone of this piece.... ideas: "whispering, dancing, spinning, tip-toeing, fluttering"...
* Stanza Three
I have similar issues with line 1 in this stanza as in the former stanza's 4th line -> something about the flow, is a bit awkward. Maybe "Someday, when I leave this earth, I will be free." or "Someday, when I leave this earth, I will also be free" or "I will only free" just some ideas! I love the extra assonance and alliteration in this stanza I'm picking it up especially -> "free / first / frollick / finally / finally" (it really highlights "finally / finally" to me) and then the "o" sound in "towards / no / old / bones / moment / know / found / home" ... and "constrained / pains" it pairs up words so nicely and gives this all a sort of psalmist / musical quality as I read it - very lovely!
This final stanza isn't totally unique as far as the thoughts expressed - it's certainly been said of death before, but I think your phrasing is pretty and personal, and clear. It gives me a sense of closure too as the piece ends on this hopeful and thoughtful note.
Overall Thoughts
I really have to commend your use of rhyme and sound devices in this poem, that really stood out to me as something that was done exceedingly well and in a way that sounded totally natural. You kept a very clean consistency with the poem with similar lengths / sounds / and line&stanza length throughout and it make the poem feel polished but more than that it propelled me forward from stanza to stanza - great word choice and word smithing through out!
Overall the emotions I took away were a sentimental and longing feeling with a bit of grief and hope mixed it - this was a lovely tribute to a dear friend that I think many readers will gather some peace upon reading the hopes expressed. It felt sincere.
I think my biggest suggestions would be to read your whole work out-loud and watch for those places where phrasing may be leaning a little bit clunky - when you've got a poem that is set up so musically the very few lines where there's a lack of flow seem to stand out more!
I enjoyed your imagery and I enjoyed the read very much.
Hope this was helpful for you! Keep on writing!
alliyah
Wow alliyah, thank you so much! This is probably the most in-depth review I have ever received and it helped SO much!
I like what you said about spoiler-ing the image, but to me, it is the whole reason for every word and I want everyone to see it. I suppose I was writing it with Tux in mind and not anyone else or any other meaning, if that makes sense. But that is a great suggestion! It is a memoir I suppose :')
Thank you <3333 What is interesting is that I actually wrote this poem two weeks before he passed away. I had a very strong impression that he was going to pass and all of the words just came out as I reflected on how much I love him. After he died, I published a visual version of this poem.
It is very interesting that you say this because I was not writing it to be from any specific lens, but now as I reflect on it I can see where all of the different elements come in. As I mentioned in another comment, the 'dust' inspiration came from Genesis 3:19, but besides that it was just my own feeling that brought me peace.
I really appreciate this review and your in-depth thoughts and reflections. Thank you so much and have a great day!
Hi Ellie! It's mint, here for an in-depth poetry review ;D First off, I love the rhythm and rhymes. The poem flows smoothly and it's easy for my eyes to slide off one line right to the next. The tone is also sad yet sweet, with both elements of grief and hope. It's a true work of art <3
Alright, on to some specifics! I'll give my thoughts on each stanza ^^
I like the casual almost-rhymes. If it was just one place that was an almost-rhyme, it would stand out, but you have a good mix of rhymes and almost-rhymes throughout the poem. To me, that also gives the poem an element of humanity and rawness.
One thing that didn't make as much sense to me about this stanza was the line, "Your body, like dust, will join the sparrows in the trees," since it was difficult for me to imagine how dust joins the sparrows in the trees? It's possible that the line means going home? But that feels like a repeat of the previous line. Do let me know if you meant something else by this-- I could totally be misinterpreting it XP
I think the first line of this stanza (about fish) makes more sense, because I can see it as the cat living on in spirit, with the familiar creatures that are still in the world of the living.
The last two stanzas were also </3 TvT Beautifully tragic.
The rhythm was especially strong in this last stanza. It was so pleasant to hear it in my head.
It's also neat that "home" is repeated, with both the cat and the narrator finding their homes!
And for interpretation... I personally haven't experienced the loss of a pet, so I can't fully relate to this poem, but I can empathize with it. It is such a beautiful thing to know that your pet is home, yet also with you in various small ways. And to be reunited in the end... That is such a happy ending :')
Thank you for sharing this poem <3 I hope you have a wonderful day/night!
Thank you so much for this fantastic review!! It helps me so much
So, great question! In this poem I was reflecting on my cats life so a lot of the different nature elements are relating to things by my house that I would do with my cat. The "dust" was referring to ashes after cremation. While he was alive he would chase the birds outside, but was always too old to actually catch them or reach them in time. So I guess I was saying that perhaps his ashes with join nature (perhaps carried by the wind) and finally fly with the birds he wanted to be with, finally free from his old bones and slow speed that his physical body had. So then in the poem I also mention other thing, like the stream by our house which he visited and how he loved to watch the fish, laying in the sunbeams, chasing dragonflies and trying to eat bugs, etc
Thanks for this fantastic review, Mint!!
Oh also, I was thinking of a bible verse when referring to the 'dust'. It is Genesis 3:19 which says "for dust you are and to dust you will."
Ah! That is lovely :'D Thanks for the explanations! <3
Hello! Really enjoyed this poem, so here’s my review!
I was super intrigued by the poem structure and meaning:)
The genius love for your cat really does she through the diction of your stanzas, which I think it was highly meaningful, deep down well written!
My favorite sentence was:
“Someday, when I leave this earth, all I will be is free,
And the first one I will see is you frolicking towards me.”
Such a deep idea well presented:)
Keep it up! Your writing is amazing!
Hello Hello, it seems I'm popping in with another quick review. I promise I'm not stalking or following you, I'm just trying to get some great works out of the green room. Plus your poems are always such a treat to read as it is. Let's get into it, shall we?
Ellie! Your poems normally hit readers in the feels but you outdid yourself with this one. The fact you wrote this about your cat is both heartwarming and makes me want to cry. It reminds me of my old cat who was completely black and stayed by my side for years before running off, so it just to got me. ( In a good way! ) Please give them all the love and kisses you can for me because you never know when they're gone.
On the writing side of things, I adore this. The use of nature to hint at the cycle of life and death is stunningly done. Although very low-key the use of imagery builds into a such peaceful landscape. I love that isn't trying to tell the reader to be afraid of grief and death but instead treating it with grace. It also doesn't shy away from the pain of loss even if life moves on.
Now this is normally where my feedback would go but today I don't have any. I cant even pick a favourite line because I would just copy and paste the whole thing back to you. There's something I love about everyone I cant put into words.
Trust me the care and importance of this poem came through you did great. Although I must know the cat's name I need to love and pet them right now.
As always you're loved so stay creative and remember to drink water!
Nice poem written by the author.
At first I thought that you wrote this poem for your loved one, someone who is not with you right now.
But when I saw that this poem was dedicated to your cat, I felt so happy, at last there is a true animal lover who appreciates the presence of her pet.
Pets play a really important role in our lives. You can tell them every single thing which bothers you, they will just sit and listen to you calmly, unlike humans (your close friends or family) who just keep commenting and telling you about your flaws instead of listening to your worries (like for once just sit quietly and listen).
Awesome.
Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.
Thank you very much for the review!!
So true!! I feel the same way about my cat
This poem was absolutely beautiful Ellie, tons of complex and powerful emotions coming through in every line. And what a lucky kitty to have someone so dedicated to him! Great work here! ^^
Thank you so much <33 You are too kind!!!