Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
i wonder whether inside me
something growing gnaws
padded paws
against padded walls
the lining sheds again
.
growing red splotches and
green patches and blue veins
day old shame
formed in intestines and brains
wiggling worms slithering snakes
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,566 Literary Works • 673,441 Reviews
I'd like to start by saying this poem really speaks to me in an odd primal way. There is something so soothing in the flow of the lines and the steady drum of the rhymes. There is pure grotesque beauty in the nature of the work. It stirs a almost musical reaction. My favorite line would have to be when you wrote,
"something growing gnaws
padded paws
against padded walls" something in the rhythm is so calming. It sounds like something I could hum. I don't know if this was that great of a review, but I thought you should know how great of a price this is.
thank you!! it really means a lot <3 !!
I am going to keep reading this all day now. I love some of the internal rhyme schemes, but I can't exactly point to what this poem is trying to say, but I can feel the urgency and overwhelming emotion its written with. It's fresh and abstract, and it's very well written as well!
thank you so much for your kind words! I'd be interested to know what you make of it; though I had a meaning in mind, I am a big lover of differing interpretations
I really like the imagery here. It feels very grotesque but in a calming sort of way.
I also feel like there is some sort of symbolism here? Like feeling like you don't belong in your body? I've had that feeling many times before and to me this feels like a representation of that feeling (especially the first stanza).
Great work, if this is a series I'm really looking forward to more ^_^
thank you! You'r3 right, it is about not belonging in your body and struggling to communicate that. The 'when i ate the mold' title comes from one of my favourite books, Infinite Jest, where the protagonist ate some mold as a child which made him feel unable to properly communicate emotions etc to anyone, and he feels trapped inside his body because of it! i have a few more of these to post. Again, thank you so much for the review! <3