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140,106 Literary Works • 673,010 Reviews
Ari here.
This poem left me with a very uncomfortable prickly feeling--in a good way, I suppose. It's very impactful and well-written, especially for something so short. It really captures the effects of generational trauma and mental illness in a painfully realistic way. The line 'my words will be nothing at all in the end. She won't hear them.' describes the distorted, spiraling version of reality that swims around in your head like the woman on the bathroom floor. Eventually you can't hear anything but your own thoughts, and no matter how much anyone tries to help, it never gets through.
This is a beautifully written piece. Honestly, I wish that this kind of thing wasn't something that needed to be written about, but I'm glad that you're shedding some light on it. Well done.
thank you so much!!
hello @Thediffident here for a review of your poem:
This poem was absolutely mesmerising! It was heartbreaking yet so beautiful. Your writing style was phenomenal and the words used here were simple and concise yet held such great meaning.
The women's experience and ups and downs in life were explained in such depth yet only in a few lines. The way you wrote this made me feel the emotions of the speaker and well as the women and it left me with a sense of dread and a bittersweet feeling. Not many poets are capable of making the readers feel to such great extent. Amazing work!
Furthermore, I really liked how you used indentations in your piece. It was truly unique, creative and made the poem even more beautiful both inside and out.
I love how you explained the state of mind of the speaker. They really want help the women yet they are aware that it isn't going to do any actual help. Great job explaining this in a few lines!
I wasn't quite able to infer the meaning of this line and have a few interpretations to it. Can you help me by explaining which one's correct:
1. The speaker has been used to the women's silent cries for help for a long time yet they are unsure as to how they can help and provide comfort.
2.The speaker and the women are the same person since the speaker has been 'listening too close'. Maybe the speaker is the alter ego of the women, wanting to help herself but isn't able to for she lacks support, motivation and comfort from a 'friend' which gives rise to the title.
This was the most heartbreaking yet one of my favourite lines. You started the piece with dreadful note yet ended it with a hole in my heart. It was truly really sad. You really are a brilliant poet as well as a writer!
(P.S. Feel free to let me know if I missed something or interpreted a part the wrong way. I love this piece and would love to understand your interpretations and point of view to it.)
This piece overall was incredible! It was an honour to review it.
Love,Andy.
aaa thank you so much! Your kind words mean so much
sobering and heartbreaking but beautifully worded. love this
thank you ! <3