Ignoring Grief
It's like wearing thick gloves
and then touching the ice-
you know it's c o l d
but you can't quite feel the slippery smooth surface
and the texture of the soggy wool that separ-
-ates your s h a k i n g hands from the ice
it's almost worse than if you had simply
picked up the ice with your bare
hands.
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140,106 Literary Works • 673,010 Reviews
Wow, I really love how well-written this poem is! In just a few words, you were able to convey a very realistic view of what grief can feel like when ignored. I could really feel the emotions being portrayed from this, and you used good imagery. The style of this writing also does a great job of placing emphasis in certain areas - like how you wrote the word "shaking" and "separates". You incorporate these words quite literally into this poem - giving readers a better idea of its meaning.
You ended off strong with comparing this feeling to being even worse than if you had just "picked up the ice with your bare hands".
Well done!
Wow, I really love how well-written this poem is! In just a few words, you were able to convey a very realistic view of what grief can feel like when ignored. I could really feel the emotions being portrayed from this, and you used good imagery. The style of this writing also does a great job of placing emphasis in certain areas - like how you wrote the word "shaking" and "separates". You incorporate these words quite literally into this poem - giving readers a better idea of its meaning.
You ended off strong with comparing this feeling to being even worse than if you had just "picked up the ice with your bare hands".
Well done!
Wow, I really love how well-written this poem is! In just a few words, you were able to convey a very realistic view of what grief can feel like when ignored. I could really feel the emotions being portrayed from this, and you used good imagery. The style of this writing also does a great job of placing emphasis in certain areas - like how you wrote the word "shaking" and "separates". You incorporate these words quite literally into this poem - giving readers a better idea of its meaning.
You ended off strong with comparing this feeling to being even worse than if you had just "picked up the ice with your bare hands".
Well done!
Ahh thank you so much!!
Hi there, Icy here for a super quick review!
I'm by no means an expert on poetry, so I'm just going to give you my thoughts.
I really like the flow of this, it reads very well and I can hear the way I think you intended for it to sound to the reader (if that makes any sense). The extended metaphor is also done very cleverly. I can really understand where you were going with it, and the message at the end is also very well conveyed.
The only thing I would say for me is that for this line:
I'm not sure that separating the letters for cold gives much impact. It makes sense for shaking later on but this one was a little lost on me.
Thanks for the enjoyable read!
Icy
Thank you so much for the feedback! Really means a lot
as for the cold part, I was kind of just intending it to be read slower but I'm not really sure 
Hello there 4revgreen.
A warm welcome to YWS!
I am Kostia and I will give you a brief preview for your poem, today.
I want to start by saying that this wasn't a bad read but in my opinion it needs some work. I understand the metaphors and the symbolisms you tried to achieve in this piece, however I don't think this was quite enough for a poem.
Structurally, it was almost great. On the other hand your sentences were at some parts long and demanding. That is not a good think especially when it comes to poetry. It makes the reader lose interest and it becomes gruesome to read. I would suggest you to work on your punctuation.
I enjoyed the comparisons with the ice and the simile with grief. I think you shouldn't change that but in my opinion you need to add more into it to make it engaging.
Your vocabulary was fine, simplistic and nicely put. I don't have anything to add here. Your grammar and spelling was okay if I am not mistaken.
Even though the structure of this poem is fine the way it is, if you end up deciding to make it bigger then you should separate it into stanzas.
Your poem is free verse which is okay by me. I love free verse poetry and a I don't think you need to make it rhyme in this case.
That's all I had to say about your poem!
Keep up the good work friend!
Best regards
Kostia
Thank you for the feedback!