(A/N) Hi there! I haven't posted in a very long time, and to be truthful I had a hard time finding any motivation. Here's a poem I wrote when I was suffering at my lowest points with depression, about feeling worthless, small and insignificant, like I had no creativity and no feelings I could deliver upon. Feedback would be amazing :) thank you)
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,800 Reviews
Your piece is really well done. You have a real poetic talent, and a way with words. (I know this has been said before, but I really needed to tell you myself.) I especially liked the second stanza/paragraph, it's really beautifully sad. I felt genuinely moved by this poem, you did a really astounding job.
My favorite line has to be 'my brain enraged with flame, as I bask and bathe in the sun and the sand of the washed-up shore.' That's such an incredibly daunting feeling to try and verbalize, and you did it so well.
The phrase 'shark-tooth tattoos' is also amazing. I hope you are able to heal and find who you are in the absence of pain.
thank you so much for this kind review! It means so much
Wowow. Really well done
Thank you! <3
This is a really striking, stunning piece. I love your word choice and the creative ways you play with language. It's powerful and unique—just a beautiful read from start to finish. Keep up the great work.
thank you so much! <3
Goooood. Your use of descriptive language Is very Impressive. There's some raw, honest emotions out there.' An Island Of Retributional hope ' ? Fricking brilliant. You have an way with words. The metaphors are well chosen.The second stanza could have been better. Thd weariness, the absence of faith Is perfectly explored and conveyed
thank you so much for the review! and thank you for the feedback, it really helps
Amazing poem!
Your poem really lets the reader immerse in those lines and wonder what story lies within them. Is it personal experience surfacing or an imaginary world that you, the poet, has invited all of us to explore? This question can only be answered by your poem, the answer lie within. Yet no matter how deep us readers search for the answer, no one can find it as it there is no real answer. The poem successfully leads us to imagine the scenarios you have written about.
The Lyrical-me kept addressing a certain “he/him” which lets the reader wonder who that mysterious “he” is, it lets us wonder what happened to that person and makes us relate, confusing reality with the world your poem offers to us. We subconsciously get engulfed and trapped in that realm of the poem, leaving many unanswered questions and head scenarios as we softly exit this world again.
The ending softly and gently sets the reader back to reality. It’s like the reader travels through a world of fantasy and then toward the ending, slowly goes back to reality. The transition of rhymes and poetic wording to mysterious modern wording really gives a nice kick to it!
I really like your poem! Keep going!
thank you so much for your review! i really appreciate it!
Yw!