never do you stop and think
as you shrivel up and slowly shrink
with each sip of that dastardly devils drink
that the meat so tender and so yellowish pink
was something that could once see and blink
a somewhat someone who's heart did sink
when that night you prowled the dark precinct
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139,421 Literary Works • 672,559 Reviews
Hello 4revgreen!
I just want to say that I really like this poem! It's short, but it's more than enough to give me the chills. I love the imagery, the rhyme scheme, and just the general creepiness conveyed. I think each line flowed really well together. One line I especially liked was "with each sip of the dastardly devils drink". Maybe it was because of the alliteration or the idea... I don't know. It just really stuck out to me.
I don't really have anything else to point out about this... aside from what earlier reviewers already did... so I'll just say this again: great job!
Thank you so much !
Hello there friend, it's me Oof.
I searched upon the Green Room and saw your poem right there, I was interested in reading it because of the title and so I did.
Your poem, or Masterpiece I would say, had some really good flow until you reached the fourth line. To me it just really doesn't belong there and when I got to that it kind of confused me.
What I liked about your poem is that it Rhymes really well, in fact I can not do a better job myself, so good job with that.
Tell me the last sentence is like my favorite line of this whole poem because it really caught my attention the most out of all the lines in this masterpiece, so good job. I'm not saying the other lines are bad because they're good too I'm just saying that I like the last line the best.
Anyways everything else seems fine, and I get the true point of your title now. Happy April.
Signs are most curious and confusing friend,
OofOof1. B-)
ahh thank you! It seems like everyone is confused about that 4th line but I promise that it does make sense, I explained it in the review below aha but thank you so much fr the review!
Hi there!
Now that I showed you the line I didn't like, I'll show you the one that REALLY caught my eye, "with each sip of that dastardly devils drink." Don't know why but I really liked this one. 
This piece is very good. I don't know why but it really spoke to me. Maybe it's appealing to my darker side
So the only line that really didn't make any sense to me was the fourth verse, "that the meat so tender and so yellowish pink." It just doesn't tie in with the rest of your poem.
Now that I look down, I see FireSpyGirl already told you about that one line but oh well. It must be true if we both thought it!!
Good job and I look forward to seeing more of your work!
Your friend,
Honora
P.S. I like smileys
If you read the poem as if there is a comma after the first line and the third, it makes sense, "never do you stop and think that the meat so tender and so yellowish pink was something that could once see and blink" but I think i just need to work on punctation lol!
I like smileys too!
Thank you so much
Ohh! That makes a lot more sense lol. Now that you point it out I can see it
And your welcome!!
Hi there!
Your friend, FireSpyGirl here to review! First off, I like this. Definitely mysterious, and it definitely is horrifying. You definitely leave room for a lot of theories and speculation. There is one sentence that I would change up a little bit:
"that the meat so tender and so yellowish pink"
To me, this line doesn't really tie in with the line above. I would do something like this:
"the meat so tender and so yellowish pink" Or "how would you know that the meat so tender and so yellowish pink."
However, this is just me. Looking forward to more!
thank you so much
I see what you mean about the line and I will take that into account. It made sense when I wrote it, aha 
That happens to everyone.