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The personalization of fear itself is a concept that we all try to work through.
But I feel like the questions leave more to be desired, it's not a bad thing, just find it to be a bit scrambled.
A nice piece of prose poetry, and it certainly has a unique personal touch to it. I love poetry that is based around philosophical questions, and the rhetoric used throughout created a pungent sense of curiosity and questioning.
The amount of similes used in this piece are great, as is the quality of personification (especially the one you used to describe time), but you used one metaphor, so there wasn't much variation in your imagery.
Another thing I spotted was the how the flow of the poem is... rocky. Sometimes it's smooth and works well, but at other times the structure causes the reading to jolt a bit... if you catch my drift. For example:
"A noise, a smell, a word
Taking you back to the root of your fear.
Time, endless lapses pass us by
But the fear remains, fossilized
Deep within your mind."
Perfect, flows beautifully and shows a lot of consideration in the selection of wording. This is, without doubt, my favourite line in the poem. But there are areas which sound odd. Like:
"You can feel it,
Like someone watching you from a mile away.
It knows your biggest secrets
And it walks around with them written all over its face"
A beautiful message, but I feel as if the rhythm of the poem shudders a bit, can you see it? It may just be me, but I found that it broke the text up too much and ruined the atmosphere of the story.
Regardless of that, I did enjoy this, and it is a great first poem, I definitely suggest writing more if I were you; it looks like you have a lot of talent!
Regards
DNX
thank you so much this definatly clears some things up! XD
Very imaginative and effective. Good use of similes. There are bits where it doesn't flow as well as it perhaps could. Very well written. It creeps into the crevices and cracks of your mind that you've rather leave untouched and really makes you think. You should give yourself a pat on the back for coming up with that.
Is there any way you could be more specific on where it doesn't flow? I don't usually write poetry so I would love to know how to improve
Gorgeous written poem, and truer words it can not carry...I myself have been carried many times with words and sound to the darkness corners of my mind and back to the memory but overall love the poem. Fear only has a name to the person it has felt it.
Thanks so much. your comment made me go all warm and fuzzy inside!