hola, once again doggy. lets start of with nitpicks:
We didn't know where Arianna was but we would find her tomorrow because it was getting really late.
first of all, this wasn't the best ending you could've used. and sure, this sentence isn't a run-on, but its just too much for this part of the story. you could add some commas, or split up the sentence so it sounds better. let me give you a hand with options:
'We didn't know where Arianna was, but we would find her tomorrow. Since it was getting so late, we headed off to bed, dreaming about finding Arianna.' (I like this one better :3)
OR
'We didn't know where Arianna was. We would find her tomorrow, because it was getting really late.'
Things are so much more fun with her.
'are' needs to be 'were', since Katie is dead know, and Mia is looking back.
Here's the story.
the period should be a colon
Her outfit looked pretty, but just not with green skin and it didn't look good on her either.
try something like this instead: 'Her clothes looked nice, but her disgusting green skin ruined the whole outfit. Besides, it didn't look good on that stupid witch.'
It also had a lot of fallen down trees which we called logs that we could walk across the rivers.
fallen trees are already called logs (most of the time) so they aren't the only ones who call broken down trees logs. and this part threw me off: 'It also had a lot of fallen down trees...'
it should be 'broken down' or 'torn down'. also, for the ending of the sentence, try this:
'... which we called logs. We liked to use them to cross rivers, so no one has to get wet.'
ok that's all I found that wasn't listed already. u are getting better with detail and describing words. yay for you :3 I just wish that the chapters were longer, ya know? got some writers block there, doggy? alright I better be running off.
continue with your writing journey across time! (ok maybe not so much like that
)~puppys3117~
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