Young Writers Society

Interesting piece. Seriously. Its nice.

Devoid of feeling,

Nice beginning. Its strong, urging the reader to move on.

Seeing only black and white.

Here, it gets a little tangled. This might not be true to others, but when you put the last two sentences in, it almost doesn't fit in with the first.

Sorry, but that may not be true. Its an opinion. NO fact.
A hallow being.

That one line makes this poem glow.
But I have to say, the line:

Seeing only black and white.

This one line is lovely. It really shows detail, but sadness, even though its not sad. That is what make's you an wonderful, amazing and fantastic writer.

I don't think I would ever be able to write this good.

Ignore the people in the world that don't like this.

I think its the best of the best. Trust me.

Keep up this amazing work. A lovely story like this should be shared to the whole world.

Farwell, TimmyJake!
I would like you to review my poem, called Tears of Rainbows.
(I think I may like your help!!)

Once again, amazing. Totally.

Farwell again,
Curioity227. *Clap, Clap, Clap*

This is really good. Usually with haiku's its about natures like cherry blossoms or refrigerators. I like how you mixed it up and did a complete unique outlook. and no worries you did the haiku accurately nothing to changed. I also really liked your word choice such as devoid and your last line " A hollow being." Really hit home.

<3 This is a great haiku! Not a thing to change

Hello! *waves*
This was a truly fine poem, and I can find nothing to criticize. (kinda hard in seventeen syllables). So rather I will say what I particularly liked.
-I liked the black and white thing; although the language wasn't particularly fancy here, it gives the reader the sense that this person isn't missing anything, but sees it from a duller perspective.
Devoid. This an awesome word in any poem, not only because the phonetics are nice, but because it is so rarely used. Then it works particularly well here as the words "void" and "hollow" conjure different but similar meanings.
Very well done here, a nice poem.
Take That You Fiend!

Hello there, timmyjake,

I loved this poem! As worried as you were that it was improperly done, I couldn't find a problem with it. Actually, I could barely find enough to really write a review it was so good. You used the correct format for a haiku (5-7-5) and it flowed very very nicely, something that is difficult for a lot of people. I loved the topic you chose and it fit perfectly into the piece. The punctuation was also correct, which is usually a downfall for many poets. Very nice job. My only real nitpick for this piece would have to be your capitalization error in the last line. You capitalized "being" but I don't think you should have. My favorite line was the first one "Devoid of feeling," because that is often how I feel. You perfectly captured the feeling of a deep depression.

Nice work, keep writing,
--Cam

Well I don't know to much about Haiku's///wait what I am I saying...I know nothing about them. But I am here to give you a review on the lovely words you shared. I loved this poem. It holds a emotional punch that made me think. What makes someone a hollow being, devoid of all feeling? It is a question that everyone could have a different answer too. I love the second line.

Seeing only black and white.

*AMAZING* definitely will be on the top of the spotlight