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On a Tightrope

by alpacaboss


A hundred thoughts rush through my head

When I hear sentences strung through

Resonances I wish to never hear again

Forcing me for a reply

A demand to take a stand, I cannot

For I fear if I choose a side,

I will lose the other

Forever to the darkest depths

How many times have I voiced out

A complaint, a response, an opinion

For it to be hurled in the abyss

Trampled to dust

That is why I keep my mouth shut

Even if it wants to burst

I’m afraid I’ll start laughing

For being too stupid to talk

You’re too quiet, too neutral

But it’s best to stay on the tightrope

For one misstep, a misspoken word

And it all comes crashing down


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7 Reviews

Points: 168
Reviews: 7

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Wed May 31, 2023 3:14 pm
AuthenticallyAngie wrote a review...



Hi! Your neighborhood Angie here to leave a review! :)
First of all, wow! Your poem touches something that almost everyone can relate to or have related to at one point. I love the rhyme scheme in the beginning of the poem, and how the poem is written in general. One if my favorite parts of this poem is,
"A demand to take a stand, I cannot

For I fear if I choose a side,

I will lose the other"
The rhythm is excellently written, and the sound when read aloud it beautiful. Good job!




alpacaboss says...


Thank you for your review! I'm glad you liked the poem :D



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59 Reviews

Points: 25
Reviews: 59

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Thu May 25, 2023 1:40 am
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TheCornDogEnthusiast wrote a review...



Hello!
This is a poignant and introspective piece that explores the internal struggle of an individual caught between the desire to speak their mind and the fear of the consequences that may follow. The poem effectively captures the overwhelming nature of having numerous thoughts racing through one's head, creating a sense of mental chaos and urgency.

The use of imagery and metaphor in phrases like "resonances I wish to never hear again" and "trampled to dust" adds depth to the emotional journey depicted in the poem. These lines convey the speaker's yearning to avoid certain discussions or arguments that have caused them pain in the past, as well as the crushing feeling of having their opinions dismissed or invalidated.

The fear of choosing a side and potentially losing the other is a relatable sentiment for many, as it reflects the struggle to maintain harmony and avoid alienating those around us. The poem delves into the fear of consequences, highlighting the risk of fracturing relationships and descending into isolation.

The speaker's decision to keep their mouth shut, despite the urge to speak out, reveals a vulnerability born out of past experiences. The self-doubt and self-deprecation expressed in lines such as "I’m afraid I’ll start laughing for being too stupid to talk" further emphasize the internal conflict faced by the narrator.

The poem concludes with a sobering reminder of the delicate balance the speaker maintains, walking on a tightrope to avoid potential catastrophe. The fear of one misstep and the resulting collapse echoes the anxiety of navigating social dynamics and the consequences of expressing oneself.

Overall, this effectively conveys the struggle between the desire to speak up and the fear of the potential repercussions. It skillfully explores themes of silence, self-doubt, and the delicate nature of human relationships. The emotions are vividly portrayed, leaving the reader with a sense of empathy and reflection.

Approved by the Corn Dog Enthusiasts Association (CDEA)




alpacaboss says...


Thank you for your review! I enjoy your explanation and analysis of my poem :D



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119 Reviews

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Reviews: 119

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Wed May 24, 2023 10:41 pm
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GengarIsBestBoy wrote a review...



Howdy Hey! Gengar here to leave a review!

I was drawn in by the title; it’s a simple title but it still holds a lot of emotion. Speaking of which, I really liked these lines:

When I hear sentences strung through

Resonances I wish to never hear again


I think you did a good job at portraying strong feelings of guilt and bottled-up feelings in this poem.

My interpretation: this poem is about someone who has tried many times to voice their opinion, but every time, they are always bashed for it. Thus, they prefer to “stay on the tightrope” and keep their mouth shut, rather than picking one side or the other.

My criticisms: i think you would benefit from adding punctuation. It seems really small, but it makes the reader pause while reading and I think it would make some lines a little more impactful.

Keep up the good work!

—GengarIsBestBoy




alpacaboss says...


Thank you for your review! This helps a lot :)



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Points: 42
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Tue May 23, 2023 6:58 pm
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emilia9ludenberg wrote a review...



Honestly so relatable, really resonates with me and likely others too. I love the last 2 lines- I find this happens with me often, particularly in school/in public, quite depressing, really. The length is also pretty suitable too- not overwhelmingly tedious and neither too short and therefore simplistic (and this is considering my issue with writing poems- my shortest one is a page long, I think). Perhaps maybe make it slightly more subtle- better for more varied interpretations, in my opinion (although this is coming from someone who loves analysing writings and trying to understand complex topics.) Overall really liked this- please write more :)




alpacaboss says...


Thank you for your review! Thanks for the tip to make my works more subtle. I believe applying it will make my writing more rich. :)



alpacaboss says...


Thank you for your review! Thanks for the tip to make my works more subtle. I believe applying it will make my writing more rich. :)



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198 Reviews

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Reviews: 198

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Tue May 23, 2023 12:14 pm
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loveissourgrapes wrote a review...



Hi, hello! This is Ina, also known as loveissourgrapes, and I am here to review your story. It's been awhile since I reviewed it on my phone, so yeah. I am sorry if you'll see a lot of typos 😅. Anyways, let's get into it.

First impressions. Ohh, a new poem of a new writer in this site, in the literary spotlight, too. Congratulations! I mean, this poem deserves it. It is very nice because I have never thought of our way of thinking and how our thoughts are made like this. It is also very creative, and this poem is like this that made you think it over and read it again.

Then, I read it again. It seems to be very sad, though. You just keep your mouth shut so you don't say anything to hurt someone you love or cause things to go bad. Then, if someone tells you to talk more, you just nod and smile because you feel like if something goes out of your mouth, it'll hurt them. The line, "but it's best to stay on the tightrope" just hits hard there.

Overall, this poem is good. I love the message it tells, very sad but kinda relatable I guess and the way it was written aswell. Also, late welcome to this site. Love to read more writings of yours too! Have a good day/ night everyone!




alpacaboss says...


Thank you for your review! Also, I like your interpretation of the last three lines. It was different than my thought process on it but your explanation works perfectly well, too. Thanks for the insight :)



loveissourgrapes says...


You're welcome!



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207 Reviews

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Sun May 21, 2023 3:55 pm
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AmayaStatham wrote a review...



Hey there,

this is a very nice poem you wrote here.

First of all, I really like your use of words and the pacing of the poem. I love that it is not to long and short neither, it is just perfect.

Lets get this party started, shall we?

On a Tightrope


I really like this title. It already says so much without even having read the poem yet. I love the fact that you wrote tightrope with a capital T, it give your title more live and spirit. I am so afraid this will end sad. But who knows?

A hundred thoughts rush through my head

When I hear sentences strung through

Resonances I wish to never hear again

Forcing me for a reply

A demand to take a stand, I cannot

For I fear if I choose a side,

I will lose the other


The first opening sentence is a great one. The fact that it is sooooo relatable is amazing and makes readers want to read on. You did a great job getting me hooked to the poem immediatly. "Resonances" I like this word, it give your poem depth and this part "For I fear if I choose a side, I will lose the other" gives it feeling.

Forever to the darkest depths

How many times have I voiced out

A complaint, a response, an opinion

For it to be hurled in the abyss

Trampled to dust

That is why I keep my mouth shut

Even if it wants to burst


Whoa, this is a very nice build up over here.

I like that the poem doesn't rhyme that much it gives it a more neutral feeling and makes it sweet.

The words do hit hard, especially this part, "Trampled to dust. That is why I keep my mouth shut" Great. These lines say so much without acting it all out. I hope you know what I mean, but they really hit deep.

I’m afraid I’ll start laughing

For being too stupid to talk

You’re too quiet, too neutral

But it’s best to stay on the tightrope

For one misstep, a misspoken word

And it all comes crashing down


Awww, this is really sad.

You did an great job making the ending go soft while in fact it is a really horrible truth.

The last two lines are very sad and I almost want to cry. Great. Great. Great job!

Overall, I think you did an amazing job on writing this poem! The message coms across loud and clear. It is portayed in such a sweet innocent way, that you would not even think its a terrible nightmare no one wishes for it to come true. Your writing style is very nice and diligent, not to complex nor simple.

Keep up the amazing job! Have a nice day/ night!

Magically yours,
Rinisha




alpacaboss says...


Thank you so much for your review! %u263A%uFE0F



alpacaboss says...


I just realized my emoji turned into some string of words hahaha
Thank you so much for your review! :)



AmayaStatham says...


Your Welcome, it was a masterpiece!
If you have time do you mind reviewing one of my works too?

~Rinisha



alpacaboss says...


Sure! Which one would you like me to look over?



AmayaStatham says...


Your favourite one.



AmayaStatham says...


if you are really struggling to find a work of me to review, I would suggest one of the MaryAnna episodes.



alpacaboss says...


I have reviewed one of your works already :D
Although I haven't perused any of the MaryAnna episodes just yet
(life's demands take a toll hahaha)

Will try to look over some of them if I have the time :D




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