Young Writers Society

Hi, I really enjoyed reading your work. After I read it, I scrolled quickly through it over and over again and let the words flash in my eyes: "I truly care"/"I feel bad"/"Please"/"Don't shut me out".

I love these "musings" you wrote. I've thought similar thoughts. They were there in my head, but I never knew how to put them into words.

In Entry 2, I like the short and choppier lines because, to me, they convey desperation. It's a desperation similar to when the main character of a dystopian book starts going a bit insane thinking about all the lies they've believed and then wondering what's true or not.

Nothing particularly stood out to me as an area of improvement.

I do hope you continue publishing more of your musings.

Howdy hey! Gengar here to leave a review!

General Impression:

I think both of these poems are very nice and have a lot of meaning even though they are not connected they seem like they could be, kind of like a story.

What I Liked:

In the first poem: i liked the level of imagery! The use of metaphors strengthens the emotions of the piece and makes the speaker seem more desperate

In the second poem: in contrast with the first, i like that this poem has less figurativeness. It also gives a desperate tone, but in a different sense

Areas of Improvement:

In the first poem: the last stanza feels a bit weaker than the others, maybe because it is a bit shorter than the others. It could be improved by having longer lines

In the second poem: i feel that the choppyness of the poem may disrupt its flow; it could be improved by combining shorter lines into one

I hope my review could be helpful. I wish you a good day/night!
—GengarIsBestBoy

About entry 2: It's amazing how much I relate to this. Far too hard.