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Your Heart in My Hands

by alpacaboss


I have held the hearts of many in my hands.

Some have given a piece to me when I was a child.

I was but a young one, unacquainted with love.

Thus, my treatment to them was not mild.

----

Now as I grow older, more come.

Some I am forced to break,

To protect my sanity

And for my safety's sake.

----

Others I close my fists

Making sure not a single fragment

Of their heart is in my hands

To avoid any disagreement.

---

It is tiring to do such

Because for some you know

They put their heart in your hands

Hoping they get something in return.

---

Yet you came and for once,

I find my hands open wide

You are unlike the others,

A compliment from my side.

---

You were the one who's doing

Every single thing right.

Caring, protective, kind,

Talking to you is a delight.

---

I have also suspected that you

May have feelings towards me

Although assuming is never wise,

Because it's prone to misunderstanding.

---

But I tremble at the fact,

That my open hands are not empty.

For in place of nothingness

Is my heart, beating rapidly.

----

With clammy hands, I withdraw it

Before you even hear a beat.

I breathe in and out as you give a smile,

And my heart returns to a normal beat.

---

I've seen too much instances

Where boys break hearts into pieces,

To the point of no recovery,

Where no medicine is of ease.

---

I am already content with this friendship.

And if the Lord wills it

To stay this way,

So be it.

---

If He has more in store, 

Then may it

Be in His perfect time,

So be it.

---

Thank you for the friendship.

Your actions are much appreciated.

For showing me a glimpse of how

I should be treated.


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111 Reviews

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Reviews: 111

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Stickied -- Mon Jul 29, 2024 3:15 pm
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alpacaboss says...



It's been a while since I posted. Lemme guys know what you think about this random poem I made on the fly.




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Mon Jul 29, 2024 5:30 pm
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EllieMae wrote a review...



Hey friend! I am so happy to see you posting more poetry, as you said, it has been a little while!! I love this so much :) Let's jump right into the review!

I have held the hearts of many in my hands.

Some have given a piece to me when I was a child.

I was but a young one, unacquainted with love.

Thus, my treatment to them was not mild.


First things first: I notice that you use a very elegant and old fashioned tone when you talk in this poem, which I thought was pretty cool. This impacts your sentence structure a lot, for example when you said "I was but a young one". That is really different than a lot of the poetry I normally read, so it felt nice to read something more unique. The phrase "my treatment to them" felt a little bit out of place. Perhaps saying "Treatment of them" would help the flow a bit.

I've seen too much instances

Where boys break hearts into pieces,

To the point of no recovery,

Where no medicine is of ease.


I enjoyed a lot of the symbols and metaphors you use in this poem. Such as checking on your hands to see if they are full or empty, hoping they are empty, but finding they are not. Perhaps that symbolizes love that you give and receive. And you use some pretty sentences right here too ^^ where you talk about no medicine being a cure, or hearts being broken into pieces. I recommend changing "too much" into "too many".

I love the rhymes that you used in some verses. I think the rhyme, especially in the last stanza between appreciated and treated, give a nice sense of closure to this work. Overall, lovely work and keep on writing!

Your friend,
Ellie

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alpacaboss says...


Thanks for the review, Ellie! Great to hear from you again :>
Glad you liked the poem :D



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Mon Jul 29, 2024 4:44 pm
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gruzinkerbell wrote a review...



Hey, it's Serrurie, here to leave a review! Let's dive in:

The Good Stuff
- I don't often see writers that incorporate romance and Christian values into their poems (heaven forbid- jk). It's really refreshing to see a concept like this that's not cringey and still incorporates the correct values.
- I also like how this isn't just about love- it's a love story. The atmosphere and concept changes as the MC opens up to this new friend, slowly falling in love with him. It changes from dark and depressing:

Some I am forced to break,

To protect my sanity

And for my safety's sake.


(I just really like that part). The mood then changes to hopeful (with a bit of cautiousness):

If He has more in store,

Then may it

Be in His perfect time,

So be it.


Room For Improvement
-You kept up the rhythm and rhyme scheme fairly well, but at one point I noticed a line where you just repeated a word instead of rhyming with it:


With clammy hands, I withdraw it

Before you even hear a beat.

I breathe in and out as you give a smile,

And my heart returns to a normal beat.


I know it's because you're talking about the heart, but I would just change the second line that uses the word 'beat' to something else, like 'seat', 'heat', 'greet', 'meet', etc.

Overall Opinion
- This was a great poem that I appreciated for it's different theme (especially CHRISTIAN romance). You're a talented writer and I hope you continue writing poems.

Happy writing, and have a blessed day!

Serrurie

:elephant:




alpacaboss says...


Hello! Glad you liked the poem, especially how you appreciated the Christian romance theme behind it. It's quite encouraging :>



gruzinkerbell says...


Of course! I barely ever see Christian romance so I loved it <3




Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
— Homer Simpson