Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
P.S. If you are uncomfortable with graphic descriptions of vomit, I advise you to veer away from this poem. And also, the premise of the poem will be found somewhere before the graphic descriptions so at least you know what you're in for. Also, if you are experiencing this right now, please please please do seek help. You need it.
***
I used to have a lot of dreams for my life
Get an education, a job, be a good wife.
Those were the days of the forgotten past.
The dream I have now is truly a great contrast.
***
Oh, to have arms and legs of a Barbie doll
The stomach of a celebrity, loved by all.
Oh, to have a face so dainty and slim
A figure eight body that is shapely and trim.
***
People in school call me fat, unsightly.
Mom wants me to go on diets unsurprisingly.
Friends give me advice on how to lose weight.
My inner self beats me up every single day.
***
How can I tear myself away from food?
Its gentle warmth and its comfort improves my mood.
How can the same thing that makes me happy
Be my primary source of insecurity?
***
All of this pressure, stress, and agony
Made me concede and stop eating, finally.
It was the hardest step to be skinny,
But I’d do whatever it takes to be pretty.
***
Slowly but surely, body fat shed off.
Yes, I was overjoyed, yet that was not enough.
I kept eating less and less for some time
And exercising more and more in my pastime.
***
This new lifestyle of mine was addictive.
Better than food, soda, or any additive.
I was getting slimmer, everyone knows.
But losing weight is not enough, not even close.
***
My friends were disturbed by my appearance.
Strangers and sworn foes would cast a pitying glance.
My mother who used to call me chubby
Now she forces me to eat more, full of worry.
***
I wonder why they all react that way.
After all, it’s what they wanted in the first place.
How could my actions possibly go wrong?
Never did I know, consequences would come strong.
***
My stomach convulsed at the taste of food
Like an incessant enemy, bitter and rude.
A flurry of acid and remains crept up.
As my being pushed me to keep throwing up.
***
When I look into the mirror, I cry
I don’t recognize the one I see with my eyes.
My hands are cold, limp like a skeleton.
But I was undeterred, still going on and on.
***
One fateful day, I collapsed to the ground.
A bottle of pills was next to where I was found.
The last thing I heard was my mother scream.
Then my vision blurred hazily before it dimmed.
***
I craved for a disaster, that is true.
I guess this whole story is nothing new to you.
Food was my first love and final demise.
I could feel my heart slowing to a stop…goodbye.
***
***
P.S. Food disorders are real. I've seen something like this happen and it's like you're powerless over a bomb that a person set for themself. Please, if you know anyone like this, do help them.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
Hi! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method Today!
I actually didn’t know much about eating disorders before reading this, only their names, so this poem really helped me understand, thank you for spreading awareness with it!
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This poem is about a person who seems to be overweight and does not like to hear people saying that they are fat, so they start a diet and exercising. They eventually lose weight, but that is not enough for them, and they continue, and it finally goes too far. One day, when they eat food again, they realize that they have now come to hate food because of their diet and wanting to become slim. They throw up because the food tastes terrible and bitter to them. In the end, the person commited suicide, with a very sad ending, and all because they were so conscious about their weight.
Slightly Burnt Marshamallow - Room for Improvements
I didn't notice a lot of room for improvement, although about the last line:
I think you might have broken the smoothness of the poem when you ended suddenly with goobye, because it doesn't really go with the rest of the line. And also "goodbye" doesn't really rhyme with "demise." I think you could rearrange some things, like put "goodbye" at the beginning, so that the last line would be smoother. But I do think it's a very meaningful thing to end with goodbye. But this is just a suggestion.
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
This was a really sad piece, I didn't expect it to end so sadly, so you did well on writing the element of surprise. I think you did a good job at describing things, but also keeping the rhyme. I myself cannot do both, only one at a time, so you are really good at doing that! I also liked how you described how the character was feeling and how having an eating disorder really feels like, it really puts it in perspective. Great job!
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall, this is a sad poem that spreads awareness about eating disorders really well, because it tells the reader how the person with the disorder feels and what they are going through. You are really good at describing things but also rhyming at the same time! Happy writing!
Thank you for the review! This helps a lot
Glad that you like the poem, too! Have a great day/night!
Hello, Alpaca!!
Using such vivid language puts an image in the reader's mind and makes the piece memorable. Very nicely done. 
Saw this sitting all lonely in the Green Room and thought it was time I did another review after getting all lazy during my vacation. All right, let's get into it!!
So, first let me say that I was very impressed with the poem. I have no problem reading graphic material so long as it's not sexual related, and I loved your graphic description here. I won't quote it. You know what I'm talking about.
This poem is incredibly sad. I knew that people had this kind of disorder, but reading a description of it...how it feels and all that...wow. That hits hard, because I kind of thought I was imagining it to be worse than it actually is. But, no. You have confirmed here that it's real. You remind the healthy reader to not take for granted the simple things of their lives like eating because there are many people out there who struggle with just that little bit. Very sad.
So, I had thought of all of that before because I had considered having a character with an eating disorder. (May still do this some time in the future) But I had not thought about parents, siblings, and other family making fun of the child. Wow! Words cant really describe the pain attached to that, but you definitely have a point that parents would be involved in the pressure the child feels. That's so sad...
I really dont have critiques on this...except maybe you're P.S.
You changed the object of the sentence a few too many times. Maybe change "a person" to "you" and "themself" to "you." That way it would be clearer who you're talking about. Anyway, that's really the only thing I can nitpick on.
As always, fantastic job, here. U R Awesome!!
-Kaia
Thanks for your review as always, Kaia! Glad you like the poem! Yes, I have to admit that I was literally rambling with my P.S. HAHAHAH
But making a character with an eating disorder will not only spread awareness but give you the chance to tell people that there's hope for people like them
Have a great day/night!
You're welcome as always!!
That's true. Kinda a similar aim I have with I Knew, since that deals with a lotta issues people don't really think about that much. Especially the one with cameras...I suspect that's only gonna become a bigger deal as time goes on...sadly...
You, too!!
not the camerasss huhuhu
I have to agree such things we don't expect are getting more and more common...
Yeah...