Young Writers Society

Hi there, this is going to be a really quick review!

I loved this poem so much especially because of the consistent rhyme and rhythm which made it extremely engaging and easy to follow. At the beginning, each stanza shared antithetical examples in order to get your point across, which in my opinion worked really well.

Despite the many negative descriptions, you progressed and somewhat had a volta that focused on the more positive/humane aspects of duality. This worked really well, as it helped your poem flow and have multiple perspectives on the topic instead of merely staying on the same point throughout. I don't normally come across poems that share different considerations and for that reason your poem was refreshing to read and almost directly resembled human thought-processes

Can't wait to read more from you~

Hey there! This is loveissourgrapes and I am back here to review/comment on your writings. I have your story and I might review it later too. No promise because I am starting to get busier in school since your story is long. But this poem is nice. Anyways, let's go review this masterpiece.

First impressions. This makes your brain really think randomly. Especially in the middle of trying to sleep, you think "What are humans like?" What do humans do?" So, yeah, it is also good to write random thoughts and then turned them into something that people will enjoy reading. Well, that's how I basically write hihi.

Sometimes, we can lose faith in humans, especially with our new generation, and it is true that humans are not perfect. Humans change and change and never stay the same. They, I mean we, always change our plan if it does not work out well. We stress, we have emotions and we do bad things. But our One and Only Supreme Being is the One we put our trust in. He's the Only One who never changes. Until the end of the world.

Overall, it is great. I also don't see any flaw in writing wise so that is good too. Keep on writing! Have a nice day/night!

Heyy
I love how you phrased your feelings here. I could personally relate to the emotions conveyed through your poem and you gave me something to think about when you said, "Perhaps it's our duality that makes up our diversity". You presented raw facts about us humans: our sickening attitude, and our lack of values and empathy that will eventually lead to a catastrophe. It's too good for a 'random thought'. Keep up the good work!

A different type of poem that aims to explore one of the fundamental aspects of the human condition, the presence of duality, similiar to the chinese concept of the yin and the yang. This is a really interesting and deep topic to talk about.
I like the contrast between emotions and actions shown by humans in kindness vs shaming, yet i feel the overall scoping wasn't clearly defined.
In duality it appears you are talking about the fundamental split between everything in this world, the forces of good vs evil, push vs pull etc; yet you seem to mix duality up with diversity and change, two vastly different concepts. While it does add more depth, it also creates a lot of confusion and makes the poem rather off topic. To ammend that issue, I think a simple fix would be to change to poem's title to something like "the human condition" or "humanity's bravity".
Overall this was a poem offered a deeper insight into life which I felt was normally unexplored, but the subsequent branching offs seemed a little messy and confusing.
Have a nice day my friend