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The lost blood of love

by YourFriendQuirks08


The lost blood of love

I cried. Tears fell from my eyes just like our love did. We never worked, we never will work; all the same it still hurts. I stare at the small, slender line on my thigh; a single stream of pure blood seeping from the opening of my skin. Crimson dripped from it, coating a strip of my upper leg in a thin layer of red. My pressure had been let out, anger even. But I wanted to do it again and again, until I felt numb from emotion. I lifted the razor from the side of the shower and hovered it a bit below my last cut, I hesitated though. I didn’t have the physical strength to do it once more, for my wrists were throbbing and my hands trembling from regret and guilt. I thought a small entrance to my body was going to help from the larger destruction of my love for you.

I still need you, still need your hoodies and comfort. Another bead of sadness and pain dropped from my eyelash and onto the bathroom floor creating a tiny puddle. The bleeding hadn’t stopped by now, as the blood was still dolefully plunging in the rusted bathtub. However, it felt nice having something run down my body, other than tears or a blasting shower head burning my legs raw. I swiftly patted the furious lines with some tissue laying lonely on the plastic stall 2 feet from me, and once some blood was cleared for a second I had a look. It...looked...deep. I felt hopeless, this was going to show and someone was going to notice sooner rather than later. But I didn’t want anyone else to notice, to worry...no one except you.


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362 Reviews

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Thu Mar 16, 2023 9:02 pm
Fishr wrote a review...



Hi there.

So, I’ll be honest right now before I begin. I am very blunt when I review.

Now, as an avid reader, reading about mental health, the examples presented here, the rusty tub and the bleeding from a razor is ridiculously redundant and quite frankly, boring. If the writer is going to execute this same old cliché they better give a backstory from the MC’s point of view on how they got to the point of wanting to kill themselves off. i find letters are by far more poignant and hit the heart strings because now, we know the reasoning of why they’re so miserable.

Include a solid backstory and we will be able to relate to this character realistically and easier understanding their plight.




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Thu Aug 26, 2021 5:55 pm
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AverysArt wrote a review...



I absolutely love this. In the past i had some issues with self harm and a lot of people didn't understand the reasoning behind it no matter how hard I tried to explain it. The way u explained it, the releasing of pressure, was the most accurate I had ever heard. This truly is a masterpiece please continue to write about sensitive subjects this way I don't think things like this are written enough. The way that doesn't romanticize it or act like the character was throwing herself a pity party it was more like she just wanted peace from a very loud mind. I really liked this thank you for posting it.




YourFriendQuirks08 says...


Thank you so much! And I hope you're doing better now. My PMs are always open x



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Wed Aug 04, 2021 5:24 pm
RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hello!

I am here to leave a review!

This was a really sad and emotional piece. The feelings run deep throughout the story and it makes you stop and think and feel grateful that you are at a better place than any of them out there in the world. Self-harm is a very serious issue and you portray it very sensitively through you character. You can tell how heartbroken she (I am guessing it is a she?) is, and how desperate and in pain she must be in order to harm herself so that the wounds on her body somewhat numbs the wound in her heart. It was a short story but it was so packed with emotions, that it made me take a second to just breathe and register.

Now on to some points I noticed:

"....it seeps a pure blood from the opening of my skin."
This sentence feels a little strange as I have never seen blood being represented as something countable. Maybe you could erase the 'a' or simply rewrite the sentence, changing it slightly. " I stare at the small, slender line on my thigh; a single stream of pure blood seeping from the opening of my skin." I think that works. But of course, it's just an opinion!

"I lifted the razor from the side of the showe ....."
I am guessing this was a typo. It was meant to be 'shower' right?

"Another bead of sadness and pain dropped from my eyelash and onto the bathroom floor causing there to be a tiny puddle."
I think 'eyelashes' work better here. Eyelashes are collective, I guess. I don't think even one single drop of tear could fall from just one eyelash. Also the last part of the sentence feels a little....strange? Maybe write "creating a tiny puddle" instead, if that works for you.

"The bleeding hadn’t stopped by now, as the blood was still dolefully plunging in the rusted bathtub, it felt nice having something run down my body other than tears or a blasting shower head that burnt my legs raw. "
There is nothing wrong with this sentence, except it just seems to run on. Try putting a full stop after 'bathtub' and breaking it up into two different sentences.

That's all! These were all suggestions, and just ignore what doesn't seem to work for you!

This was a really strong piece, and it made me feel a lot of emotions I never want to feel in life. Keep up the good work, and have a great day/night!




YourFriendQuirks08 says...


Thank you so much! I have made changes you requested, as it seemed better and more descriptive. This review has definitely helped improve this piece so I thank for your comment. x



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Wed Aug 04, 2021 4:45 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

I cried. Tears fell from my eyes just like our love did. We never worked, we never will work; all the same it still hurts. I stare at the small, slender line on my thigh, it seeps a pure blood from the opening of my skin. Crimson dripped from it, coating a strip of my upper leg in a thin layer of red. My pressure had been let out, anger even. But I wanted to do it again and again, until I felt numb from emotion. I lifted the razor from the side of the showe and hovered it a bit below my last cut, I hesitated though. I didn’t have the physical strength to do it once more, for my wrists were throbbing and my hands trembling from regret and guilt. I thought a small entrance to my body was going to help from the larger destruction of my love for you.


Well, this is a very powerful start here. Definitely getting right to a pretty startling description there, there's a very powerful image created there as you're slowly introduced to the character and what's currently happening. I like the way that you showcase the reasons behind what's happening right from the very beginning here. Its a very interesting comparison there to start with. It definitely gets across the kind of emotional state that the main character is in there, and well, it definitely manages to convey the situation quite well.

I still need you, still need your hoodies and comfort. Another bead of sadness and pain dropped from my eyelash and onto the bathroom floor causing there to be a tiny puddle. The bleeding hadn’t stopped by now, as the blood was still dolefully plunging in the rusted bathtub, it felt nice having something run down my body other than tears or a blasting shower head that burnt my legs raw. I swiftly patted the furious lines with some tissue laying lonely on the plastic stall 2 feet from me, and once some blood was cleared for a second I had a look. It...looked...deep. I felt hopeless, this was going to show and someone was going to notice sooner rather than later. But I didn’t want anyone else to notice, to worry...no one except you.


Well, that certainly ended on a much better note than I was expecting it to there...things got off to a pretty final sounding start there, but it looks like this person pulled things back somewhat there before things went too far to stop. You do get a sense that they had second thoughts due to that first couple of lines, although that does present and interesting mystery in that it almost seems like the same reason was responsible for both the things that took place here.

Well, on the whole a pretty powerful little story this one, definitely leaves you thinking. :D

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




YourFriendQuirks08 says...


Thank you so much; your review is very helpful!



KateHardy says...


You're Welcome!! :D




i am neither a loose leaf nor do i like loose leafs. really, i am a piece of wide-ruled looseleaf paper
— looseleaf