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I need you here tonight :)

by YourFriendQuirks08


Hey guys, before you read the poem I would like to say that this poem isn't supposed to be amazing. I wrote this as I have been feeling this way for a while and I wanted to write it down when I can't really speak to them...my PM's are for anyone who needs it! 

Love ya,

Rubes x

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Missing someone is like the deadly game of Jumanji

It haunts you as if it were a ghost

However fills you with a soothing feeling

-

It makes you feel like nothing

Because you were a person when you were with them

However there is a slight thought of safety

-

You feel you are overreacting,

A strange, uncomfortable person

Just because of a bond and relationship

That has too many feelings

A mix...too many compounds to name

-

They come and go

But take your focus and peace far far away

Yet bring many memories...some sad, some unbelievably chilling

-

It disposes of you in a place far far away from reality

Your mind is fooled and tricked into sending you on a disturbing holiday

Your dropped alone in an odd place

It makes you feel ashamed of who you are

causes you to isolate yourself until you feel like your nothing

-

You break away from them

confused, shameful and saddened by not seeing them

You don't know the difference between searching for them and asking questions

The hopeless world of reality

-

You have breakdowns, meltdowns

you don't know how to speak to them about your feelings

It gets serious

You change

But all you really need is for them to give you a hug

say that it's going to be alright

-

-

If you miss someone...past relationship or not

Speak, talk, communicate with them

Thank them for all they've done

Thank them for the joy, the memories

Because one day it will be too late

But not now

It is the perfect time

To not beat yourself up about them

And live with and without their company


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42 Reviews

Points: 12
Reviews: 42

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Sat May 01, 2021 6:25 am
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EsmerayaRose wrote a review...



hi, BrokenHeartsAri here for a review!



ok, first I hope you are doing well


so I loved the imagery you had going on it seemed more tangible for me as the reader. the communication with these emotions fits extremely well.


"You have breakdowns, meltdowns

you don't know how to speak to them about your feelings

It gets serious

You change

But all you really need is for them to give you a hug

say that it's going to be alright"

I really loved this part because I feel everyone has gone through this they needed closure. That everything is going to be ok. so they can move on.



"You break away from them

confused, shameful, and saddened by not seeing them

You don't know the difference between searching for them and asking questions

The hopeless world of reality"


I feel like it wasn't enough visual language.



I agree with blueglow you could add some similes here and there, but other than that i really enjoyed reading this work.




Keep up the great work-BrokenHeartsAri




YourFriendQuirks08 says...


Thanks so much for the review! I was kinda just writing my feelings down for a bit...hence why some parts aren't great.

Stay safe,
Love Rubes



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31 Reviews

Points: 51
Reviews: 31

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Thu Apr 29, 2021 1:41 pm
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BlueGlow wrote a review...



This is a very emotional work and I love it for that. The imagery is decent as well, nothing too special but not too bad either. You communicate the emotions extremely well which is important in this sort of poetry. So yeah, my only criticism is the visual language. I feel like it isnt visceral enough. You can always add colorful similes that create a sort of visual tapestry in the reader's head. If you want to improve look at how other authors write their poems and see what you like and what you don't, use what you like to improve. Overall this is a solid work!




YourFriendQuirks08 says...


Thank you so much! I was just writing it down to relieve myself of these odd feelings hence why it isn't an amazing piece
Thank you for reviewing and stay safe
Love Rubes x




When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.
— Abraham Heschel