They educate,
But they advance exceedingly further than that,
-
They are there when nobody else is
They set forth guidance passed down from generations
They grant us love whenever we are in an essential state of crisis
They propel us to the target in which we manufacture
In our small, amateur minds.
-
They speak when there are no words to be voiced
They protect without shining armor or an armed palm
They fight even with no weapons instead with grace and dignity
-
And yet we all laugh at their slight set-backs
We throw up our middle fingers and point them high
We cuss them off at their extremely precocious heads
-
But they all clap back undoubtedly professionally,
They locate their hands to the board
And award us with extra brains
-
In real life, no-one gets this admiration
In real life, no-one would go heard
In real life, no-one would grant us with free proficiency
-
And that is why you will regret,
The awful things you did
When you were at that academy
Because it will be too late
When you leave
And take a glimpse of your child
Act as you once did
When you were at school...
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This poem was really amazing. It's true that we don't give teachers the respect or the credit they deserve. I especially like the parts where you compare their actions to others', and where you say they don't take anything to heart and only try to bring out the best in us.
I just wanted to point a few things,
In the line:
'They propel us to the target in which we manufacture'
I think you meant
'They propel us to the target which we manufacture'
I think the 'in' should be removed as it is added in the next line and it doesn't make much sense here. Just check it once.
In the sixth paragraph, I think the hyphen could be removed from the 'no-one'
It's really your wish, but to me, the vocabulary sounds slightly strained. You could make things a little more simple.
But overall this poem was great. Keep writing!!
Thank you so much! Have a good day/night!
Now this is one heck of a poem! I love the message as I too agree that teachers, educators, professors, and other who have lots to teach, are underappreciated. I especially like how you tie it all together at the end with the child of the person being spoken to doing the same thing the parent once did. I would change the line "but they advance exceedingly further than that" with "but they do far more than just that" as it makes a bit more sense. Overall, an exceptional poem!
Thank you for your review, it is much appreciated!
Hiya Ashlyn here for a review!! Before I dive into it though please know that this review is not intended to offend you or make your writing look bad.
Maybe consider removing 'they fight with no weapons' because you've already mentioned the fact that they use no weapons in the previous line? That's just me however. Either way the line 'they protect with shining armor or an armed palm' is just amazing and beautiful and asdjfasdfdsfh it's so true.
Grace and dignity are indeed the weapons of an educator.
Yep, students these days will make a joke out of everything. That line really eludes to the amazing amount of patience teachers have. Well put, my friend, very well put <333
Uhhh the last line confused me a bit though. Cuss them off? Yes, many students do have a habit of severely cussing at the teacher, but are you sure you didn't mean cut? And what exactly is meant by precocious heads?
I've only heard the word precocious used in context with growth, development, and behaviors associated with people who are becoming adults and most teachers already are adults...is that like a reference to the fact that some teachers are younger then others, or the fact that they deal with students?
Or does the word precocious have a meaning I've never heard before? In which case I've learned something new which just makes you a good writer <333
Now you can definitely ignore this because this probably has more to do with stylistic choice then anything, but I'm wondering if the hyphens are really necessary.
That's a neat way to end the poem, adding a whole 'the past will repeat itself' vibe kind of like a promise. I looove it <333
Thanks for writing this. Teachers really do deserve appreciation especially since they have to put up with the garbage we throw at them everyday <33
-Ashlyn
heya, thanks for the review! Precocious can mean intelligent and smart - well according to google lol...unless google wrong.
Stay safe and keep writing,
Love Rubes x
Ahhh I see, thanks for clarifying that and np <333