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Depression's hymn

by YourFriendQuirks08


Searching,

just searching all night,

in the mind of a lost soul.

Melodies of darkness clearly

and yet I’m still searching.

-

Struggling,

just struggling every day,

trapped in a dark depression.

A deepening tune widening in our heads,

and yet I still go on smiling.

-

Acting,

hyper facial expressions everywhere,

for if I showed the truth,

I wouldn’t be normal in a lifetime,

so I go on acting as if I am alright.

-

I miss our times,

times in which we would simply speak,

It made my entire day,

because it was simply:

Your voice,

Your smile,

Your tears

and your fluent harmony.

I really miss when we were okay,

singing until we teared up,

giggling at stupid jokes and riddles

-

It hurts…

so now I need you,

to just sit with me,

To really finish my final album.


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7 Reviews


Points: 178
Reviews: 7

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Mon Jul 26, 2021 7:06 pm
Katem_277 says...



Hi, I just want to say that your poem is beautifully written. As someone who has struggled with depression in the past, I found myself really relating to certain parts. I love how its structured and it flows incredibly well.

Keep up the good work :)






Thank you so much :) very grateful for that comment



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228 Reviews


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Reviews: 228

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Sun Jul 25, 2021 2:00 pm
RandomTalks says...



Hey! I suck at writing poems and I suck even more at reviewing them, so I will not torture you with my confusing thoughts as I am sure it would be of no help to you even if you could decipher it. But this was such a lovely poem. It is so relatable and it flows so well, and the words just speak to you. I loved the first two paragraphs and especially the last line: "To really finish my final album." Great job on the poem!






thank you so much!



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15 Reviews


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Reviews: 15

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Sat Jul 24, 2021 11:45 pm
eilisBK wrote a review...



I've said it once and I'll say it again: I'm not a fan of poetry. But this... This was something else. As someone who has struggled with depression and still goes through depressive episodes from time to time, this poem almost brought me to tears.

I can't say I relate to this exactly, we all experience depression in different ways, but I still found myself relating to certain parts, especially your first and second stanza.

My once critique is followed by a question as I'm not sure if this was intentional or a mistake: In your second stanza, do you mean to say something like "Struggling,/ just struggling every day,/ IN a dark depression"? If not, what to you mean struggling FOR a dark depression?

Really great writing, I look forward to reading your future work as well!






Thank you so much! My PM's are always open if you need to talk; I'm here for you. It was a mistake...just changing it now x



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280 Reviews


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Sat Jul 24, 2021 7:23 am
silented1 wrote a review...



and your fluent harmony.
Favorite line.

I noticed that a lot of your poem is a refrain that is expanded upon, your idea has five parts, What you're doing, searching(acting too), how it feels, what you miss and what you want at the end.
This is your general outline, and it's very good to have. Some of this can be traced together, like I did a little bit. In order, and by event in the poem, to lead to an outline. Now, you can contrast this or make it more meaningful with some powerful lines. Something that makes me see how hurt you are rather than knowing how hurt you are. I think it would be a good idea to work with the album part of the poem because you can build off of what an album is.






Thank you so much! I really appreciate this review x



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41 Reviews


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Fri Jul 23, 2021 8:19 pm
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TheWordsOfWolf wrote a review...



Hi, hello, good morning, good evening, good afternoon and goodnight as well as many other pleasant things that I've forgotten used to be in my greeting. Anyway, Wolf here, ready to review your poem.

To be completely honest this wasn't the work I was intending to click on when I entered the green room on this lovely afternoon, but here I am regardless. Needless to say I decided to stick around and read this poem, and it did not disappoint me at all I am glad I stayed indeed.
You're poem seems to flow from a very deep and vulnerable place of hurt and I think that makes it a tragic beauty. As I was reading it I found myself able to slip right into the same position as you described.
However, I do have a somethings that i would like to suggest. I'm going to start with the last line, for the purpose of irony of course, so anyway
although the line is beautiful it doesn't make a whole lot of sense although there are subtle things that could tie it in they are a bit too subtle.

next




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Fri Jul 23, 2021 3:49 pm
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TheRebel2007 wrote a review...



Have a good day, YourFriendQuirks08!

I am quite amazed at the poem's description of depression, it's eloquent and persuasive at the same time. If my thoughts are right, the narrator's depression has been caused by the breakup between the narrator and their love. I liked the description of the narrator's emotions and the ways of the expressing their love's expressions - it was simple and strong at the same time. And the poem ended in the best way it could have, "To really finish my final album."

This poem is simple, but comprehensive at the same time, as it encompasses the emotions in depression in a great way. I like it, and I would love more poems from you! :p






Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.




Who overcomes by force, hath overcome but half his foe.
— John Milton (Poet)