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139,289 Literary Works • 672,524 Reviews
Wow, love this. Great to know more Christians are out there! Good future reference, now I feel better about putting some of my own stuff like this out there...
I love how meaningful these words are, I especially enjoyed the line;
"Without you I am nothing, I am just words without meaning."
Totally agree! Though I do agree with others on those pesky line breaks as well...
This is great. Continue sharing your faith!
Continue writing and being awesome!
~GC
Hello always nice to meet other Christians
Next time for song try to use line breaks instead of a paragraph. It is just more pleasing to the eye when reading lyrics. Other then that I found it very positive and uplifting. Would do great in a church service and any other kind of group gathering.
Keep writing and above all have fun doing it.
Thanks, I will use line breaks next time.
This is great. I love it. I have to agree with niteowl in that it might be better with line breaks. Other than that I think it was great.
Hi Hsarver and welcome to YWS! I am no longer a Christian, but I've been to many a church service and this sounds like it could definitely fit in. It has a singable rhythm, which is good. It doesn't seem terribly original to me, but that's probably okay for this genre.
I just have a couple small nitpicks.
1) Why do you have it written out in paragraph form? Sometimes the submitter does that, but here it looks deliberate. Typically, I'd write a song with line breaks. For example.
That quote segues into my second point: The "I am dependent on my feelings" is long and breaks the rhythm. Maybe "Without you I depend on feelings".
I really liked "I am just words without meaning". It's clever and probably the most inventive line in the whole song.
This line seemed off. I thought Jesus was the light? So now the speaker is Jesus? Sounds a little arrogant. Perhaps "I have the light in the dark" would work better.
Overall, this is pretty well-written, just a couple small changes would be good. Good job and keep writing!
"Zack is cold, has a sore throat and eyes from the oxygen blowing at him for over 30 hours straight and says he never wants to be in the hospital again.
However, his cardiologist cleared his heart following last nights echocardiogram. No connective tissue disorder. Chest X-ray has already been done for the day, and we are praying that it will show the hole in his lung getting smaller."
Jesus did call His disciples the light. Matthew 5:14-16. "You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Just wanted to point that out. =) Though, I do kinda like what you suggested.
Um.... Ignore the first paragraph (about Zack). My computer did something funky with that...
Thanks for the suggestion, I might change that line.
Nice! Are you a Christian? Because if you are, well, I am too! I really like this because it is quite accurate. Seriously, I really really really like this! I hope you keep on writing stuff like this!
Yes, I am a Christian, and thanks I am glad you like it. I have written quite a few songs. I will most likely post the rest later.