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140,071 Literary Works • 672,990 Reviews
Hi Hsarver! Niteowl here to review for Team Dreamwave!
Now, overall, I'm impressed. It flows well and I can come up with a tune for it as I read, which is a good sign. It's tough to be super-original in the Christian genre, but I think this could stand out.
I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this in the past, but this exact phrase is used a lot in Christian songs. I might try something more interesting. I looked up the verse you cited and it mentions a "righteous right hand"...could you do something with that? Perhaps connecting it to Jesus?
I find this line just a bit awkward. You can't win a victory. I supposed "the battle" is cheesy, but it would make more sense.
Overall, good stuff, flows well. Just some minor suggestions. Keep writing!
From a structural point of view it is written well. It is quite hard to try to hear a song with just words and no instrumental but I believe you accomplished in setting out for a song that flows nicely.
The content doesn't talk about much, I feel as if there could be more in the verses as a more original tone to the poem. Maybe just add more lines 'cause the verse is very short.
Also a debatable lyric with amount all religions is:
For the God that we give praise
Is the God
Who rose from the grave!
You say for the God we give praise, does your religion in multiple gods? For you insinuate that your god is one of many.
Anyways wish you the best!
Imhero!
--Review time--
structure/flow: 4/6
Emotion:2/6
content: 1/6
Hey there Kat here to review for the ever awesome team Dreamwave!
Wow I could really hear the tune pouring over your words and the first stanza had me hooked! The song really made me feel confident and assured , faithful and not afraid, very good job there
I also like how exact you were with your word usage and instead of making us read the same stanzas over again, you just gave directional instructions ( repeat etc)
I know this is a super short review but I just can not find anything wrong with this piece, grammar and everything seems to be in place.
Well keep up the good work and post on my wall if you have anything else you'd like me to review.
~Speakerskat
Wow! I like it! I like how you made up this poem/song for Isaiah 40:10 - 11. It is really inspiring. And yes I am christian. I'm just speechless. Just...wow. Thank you for sharing this with everyone it is really nice.
~Trish
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.