Where Would I Be?

Hi there, I'm Candrew. I read over the lyrics and then(you might think I'm a dork) I sang them aloud. I don't know the way you meant the rhythm to be, but the way I sung it I thought it was beautiful. Even without singing it, it is very pretty. Most stories, songs, and poems were inspired by real life events. If I had to assume, I would say you were going through a bad time and God helped you on the way. I can agree because I have seizures and God helped me through them. I wish more people could see God through our eyes. I hope I have the privilege of reading more things from you because I can assume they will be just as good and inspiring as this.

Hey! I'm gonna be reviewing your song today (sorry if it's terrible, I'm new to this )

Firstly, I really like the flow of this song. I'm not a religous person, but this song was really powerful and felt like it came straight from the heart. The emotion in the lyrics was very catching and you find yourself wanting to sing along, even though you don't know the tune. You end up making your own. I also like the fact how everything is very balanced and flows wonderfully! You're rymes are very solid and the whole thing has a great beat to it. I can so see this being sung by a professional live on stage.

However, you need to work on your puncuation a bit. You need commas and periods or the whole thing is just moving along way too quickly, and the feel of the song loses it touch a bit. The singer needs to know when certain flows and rythyms end.

Overall, I really like this song and migth even put some music behind it so I can sing it at home (by myself of course ). Keep up the good work! Hope my review helped

0rki3

Hey, there! Deifyance here with a little brief review-thing.

First off, I like your heart. You can convey emotion through your lyrics well. Your rhymes are solid and that makes the song catchy and easy to sing. Also known as every worship song ever.

Now, some nit-picky stuff. You need pronunciation. Periods and commas after lines so you can provide a rhythm and let us know where the thought ends. Your verse 2 is a little meager. I don't know the music behind it, but if it's anything like verse 1 it's missing quite a few words that would normally fill that time.

Back to something I like. I do, in fact, like how you have a balanced amount of "I's" and "me's", with "you's" and "you're's". Normally most worship songs are ether one or the other, but you have a healthy balance, and I like that.

I want to challenge you to make the song more 'raw'. And, If you will, I'll be honest. If your testimony was portrayed by this song, in the way it's presented; I would think it was a cookie cutter, found my savior, I love Jesus kind of song. Don't get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with that. I just feel as though if I was portraying my encountering with an Almighty, All-Powerful, Warrior-King, who gave everything just to have me; I would put some 'dirtiness' into it. Let what really happened come out. THAT is something that comes from YOUR heart. And it's YOUR heart that draw's the presence. However, please remember that is just something I would do, and there is nothing wrong with packaging it up and toning it down a bit. I just feel it has more potential.

I want to see more of you behind it. The greatest worship songs I have ever experienced (not that they are for us.) have all been born out of a persons experience. Raw experience. Being able to capture what was happening in that moment, and sharing it with those listening.

So: Good start! Lot's of potential. I would like to see how this progresses if you so choose. If I sounded harsh at all in my review I apologize, I have been attempting to work on that. All in love.

Blessings!

I actually sang this a bit to get a feel for it, and I really, really like it! ^_^ It's a beautiful song. Good job! The ending and how you start from the third line was a good way to end the song, though perhaps repeating the last line a few times would be good too?

Wow. Just wow. I think that this is a really powerful song. I love everything about it, honestly. The verses have meaning, and beauty, and the chorus makes me want to go to church more often. I would love to hear this on gospel radio one day, and I'd REALLY love to sing it one day. This is great. Just wow. Wowiewowwow.