If I Could Go Back In Time

This is awesome!

I enjoyed reading all of this, there's so much emotion that you're explaining, it's really well done in every way that I can see!
And the music that you played is really good too, it matched the lyrics wonderfully.

"I know I have caused you pain
and a lack of sleep
I have played this like a game
Even though you're what I need
Excuse my indifference
The stupid jerk inside
I regret my decisions
And that old man has died"
That part I really understand because I too have thought about the same thing about myself.

Great job! Loved it all! Good luck with creating more awesome lyrics!

Hey... here for a review! This is only my second review for lyrical. But Im starting to really look forward to it!!!

Verse 1:

The shadows of my past
Are haunting me
So whenever I look back
The pain is all I see
I wish I could change it
Go back and make it right
But what's done is what's done
You don't get another try

* GREAT job with this part! I love it! It is showing a lot of emotion! which I love!!!

But that would not be me
It's a fake reality
So I'll just scream I'm sorry
For the hearts that I broke
With the words that I spoke
They were careless and rude
And I hope you can forgive
Someone stupid like this
'Cause I don't want to lose you

* Cant really explain how it makes me feel! But its great! Im very impressed and excited to keep reading!!!

I know I have caused you pain
and a lack of sleep
I have played this like a game
Even though you're what I need
Excuse my indifference
The stupid jerk inside
I regret my decisions
And that old man has died

They say you just gotta live and learn
But boy do I wonder
What my life would be like
If I could just go back in time

* Flows great! I love it!

I could fix all the mistakes
I could say the right things
And I could make it right again
I could mend all the wrongs
That I've said and done
And we could be friends


But that would not be me
It's a fake reality
So I'll just scream I'm sorry
For the hearts that I broke
With the words that I spoke
They were careless and rude
And I hope you can forgive
Someone stupid like this
'Cause I don't want to lose you (2x)

* haha I feel like your inside my head!!! You did great! Everything sounds great to me!!! I cant wait to read more of your lyrical! I loved it! Good luck and great job!!!
Josie

How heartbreaking! Anyone with a heart can definitely relate to this. Nobody's perfect, I'm quite sure that everyone did something that they regret. These are perfect lyrics for a perfect tune.

Furthermore, I'm quoting this cause this is the best portion:

"They say you just gotta live and learn
But boy do I wonder
What my life would be like
If I could just go back in time?"

This struck me more than it should but honestly, the question at the end of the stanza just pulled the soul out of me. Actually I've thought about it many times (the question) and when I read this, all the mistakes I had in the past came rushing back to me.

Yes, this is how you affect you readers (or listener if ever you're planning to put a tune on it) so, yeah, just keep on writing cause you're brilliant!

I really like this. I feel like this all the time, but as you said, I would be a different person without having made those mistakes. You did a really good job with the rhyming and flow of this song. Did you write the music for this song or just the lyrics? I really enjoyed reading this and listening to it.

Hi!

This is a very relate-able piece. I think everyone has a felt a need to fix their wrongs at one point or another. I really enjoyed the flow and rhyme of this poem. Here are a few things I would like to point out to help you make this piece even better:

That's why they say you just gotta live and learn (Maybe make this line a little short; it disrupts the flow)

If could just go back in time (I think the word I might be missing after if)

And I could make it right again
I could mend all the wrongs
That I've said and done
And we could be friends
But that would not be me
It's a fake reality
(This has to be my favorite part. even after we have went back and fixed everything it wouldn't be the real you because you were just fixing those things to make it right with others. Those mistakes were what you were really feeling in that moment.)

'Cause I don't want to lose you (I don't think this line does your song any justice)

I know I have caused you pain
and a lack of sleep
(These lines are awesome!)

I have played this like a game (I think this would go better just by saying: i have played this game)

And that old man has died (Would is dead work better than has died?)

I think you did a fantastic job telling a story through this song that many people can relate to and create their own meaning for!
Keep up the awesome writing!
xoxo,
Rascalover