Verse 1:
I woke up and I wondered what happened
It wasn't a choice of sudden reaction
I realized I stopped following God
And started to follow this world
I let my boat sail into the great unknown
But now I am raising up my sails
And laying down my heart
And letting you
Take me back to the start
Chorus:
When I found you
You brought me to the place
Of your forgiveness
And your amazing grace
When I found you
You started to change my life
And I was
Greatly satisfied
When I found you
Verse 2:
I started to slip and fall away
I started to clinging to the earthly things
I started to forget
All that you have promised
But I am raising up my sails
And I'm laying down my heart
And letting you take me back to the start
Back to Chorus
Bridge:
I am coming back to you
For you're the savior to the lost
I may have turned away
But you'll receive me with open arms
I am coming back to you
For where else will I go?
For you're the only one
Who can bring us home
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,071 Literary Works • 672,990 Reviews
I love the chorus most of all in the song. It seems to tell it's own story within the song. I really like the way you worded this. I can see this being a real song out there. And I'd be one of the fist in line to get it.
Please, keep up the amazing work you do.
Thanks! I appreciate your support and compliments; they keep me motivated.
Hello again Hsarver!
The chorus here is strong. It gets the message across and flows well. I think it would sound good as a slower song.
The first verse, however, is a bit confusing. First the speaker's waking up, then they're reacting, then they're talking about sailing? I rather like the sailing imagery. It's different, but you could do more with it. I would set up the first verse as a progression. First half: the "new believer" high. You could do this with some images about water/sailing (baptism maybe?), perhaps anchors, or compasses (the Lord navigating the speaker). Then the second half: "lost at sea": doubts, temptation, sin. Possible images: stormy seas, broken compass, etc. I like the "raising up my sails and laying down my heart" line though. I think that could stay as a lead in to the chorus.
"Great satisfied" doesn't make much sense. I think something like "Finally satisfied" would fit better and make more sense.
I think the extra "to" was a typo? I'd shorten to "I started clinging to earthly things"
To end on a good note, I like the bridge a lot.
Overall, not bad, but I'd clean up the first verse. Keep writing!
Thanks for the review, and "great" was supposed to be greatly, it was a typo.
Wish I could hear the beats or hear the notes. The content though is fantastic and so very relatable. I didn't stumble across any grammatical mistakes. Also your imagery with the sail is great. The flow is good, however, as I said, I really wish I could see the notes. I could see you actually going somewhere with this song, and hear it being played on the radio. Also which instrument do you hear this being played on? Keep writing!
~Kay
I have already put it to music, but I see it being played on the piano. Thanks for the compliments!
Hi.
It's like... every line in this song fits me so perfectly. I'm being very worldly right now in my life, and reading your song just makes me feel something. Thank you for writing this.
I am glad you like it
Very beautiful. I can see people singing this song at church. Maybe it was a sign that I saw this right now. I am really trying to distract myself right now but I saw this. Do you mind if you pray for me? I am going in for surgery tomorrow. I am generally not feeling well. I'd really appreciate it.
I will definitely be praying for you.
Thank you. ;_;