https://soundcloud.com/hsarvermusic/my-salvation Here is the audio link if you wish to listen to it.
Verse 1:
The curse of sin pulled me under
Dark, murky water
I was drowning and helpless,
Like a child stuck in the deep end
All night long I would scream
Someone please set me free
I can’t do this myself
Jesus I need your help
And then I saw a man coming towards me
He had his hands outstretched for me
He said follow me.
Chorus:
Jesus you’re my salvation
The only true foundation
My redemption
You’re the one I am living for
The only person I adore
Jesus you’re my reward
Verse 2:
The temptations were dressed up nice
Like it was homecoming night
And I danced with them to the beat of the drum
Of this world’s motto of do what you want
Then my world came caving in
And I turned my eyes to Heaven
I can’t do this by myself
Jesus I need your help
And then I saw a man coming towards me
He had his hands outstretched for me
He said follow me.
Chorus:
Jesus you’re my salvation
The only true foundation
My redemption
You’re the one I am living for
The only person I adore
Jesus you’re my reward
Bridge:
I am pressing on
Not looking back on what I’ve done
Because grace has washed away
All my dirty stains (2x end with chorus)
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Really cool. I enjoyed the melody and rhyming. It was a very sweet song. Thank you. I found it to beautiful in the verses and the chorus. I also write songs. I have since I was nine.( Hint, hint, look at some of my songs, just kidding.
. lol). Anyway, really beautiful song. I am glad you are spreading it with everyone. I didn't see any mistakes so Awesome job! You did great.
Hope.
Hello, WindSailor.
Obviously this is written to be a contemporary Christian song about redemption and Jesus and stuff.
The language is nice, the feeling is nice.
But what makes it different from the hundreds of other songs like this? That talk about redemption?
Christian artists often don't put in any personal details because they're hoping that their lyrics will end up on a huge screen in a mega church where thousands of white Christians will politely raise their hands and then sit down for a nice sermon every Sunday.
But there are already a ton of those. I encourage you to put your personal testimony into your music. A testimony is more powerful than a worship song.
Also, try to find new ways to say old things. "Washed away" for example, is in nearly all of the Christian contemporary music that I can remember listening to. It's a cliche, especially within the genre.
I thought the homecoming image was out of place. It seems rather secular within the context of your lyrics.
I hope that this proves useful to you! Happy YWSing!
Hi again!
Okay I have to say I love these lyrics!! I personally prefer this over your latest song, but that's just me.
I'll have to listen to the audio of this! These are great, poetic words that dig deep:)
And again, obviously great message.
I don't see much to nitpick over...
The rhythm might have been better in your more recent song but I love this!
Awesome job
~<3