Young Writers Society

I love it love it love it love it love it and I love it. No grammar fails, no typos and no wrong spelling. So sweet, even though I'm kinda jealous. I wish I could feel that. It's written with such passion and creativity. Argh! I want to write like that.

10/10 Adore it.

Love, Bob Walker!

My friend and I are here so I guess well comment.

~~~~~me~~~~~So I think it's pretty good the grammar and all that Is PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think my friend will comment later!!!

I love duality between the simplicity of the writing and the intensity of the subject. Well structured, well written poem! I Love it!

Since I've never experienced love, I only hope this poem is accurate! This was beautiful, simply beautiful! I hope when I fall in love someday, it's like this! You've made my day, Tenyo!

Write On,

~~Heidi~~

Hello Tenyo,

This was such a sweet poem; I was completely absorbed whilst reading and I found the simplicity truly helped make this an incredibly powerful piece of poetry. It was well written and had a consistent and smooth flow, although I do have to agree with another reviewer that the last stanza was slightly chunkier in comparison to the rest of your poem though, however this didn't affect the actual piece much because it was still really sweet and demonstrated the loyalty, love, compassion and most of all dedication that you can feel towards someone. This was a very lovely poem that captivated me from start to finish. Well done!

Since the capitalization of some of the words in your poem seems to have provoked some discussion I thought I might as well tell you what I think. Although none of the capitalization is actually necessary I think it does add a nice personal touch where you capitalized the word "mine"; however I didn't think capitalizing "everything" really helped your poem at all so I would probably leave that capitalized if I was you. That's just my opinion though, don't feel at all obliged to follow my advice, it is after all your poem and you should choose how you want it written.

"She is Mine
Was Mine
And will always be Mine;
My poet,
My songbird,
My fragile rhyme."

This was an excellent start to your poem that really captivated the reader I particularly loved the last lines of this stanza, I'm not sure why, I think the metaphors just really helped to describe the person in question a bit more powerfully and developed more imagery in this poem.

"She's my snuggle
And cuddle,
My sweet lullaby,
My sunstream,
Moonbeam,
And star stricken sky."

Unfortunately I didn't like this stanza as much as the previous one, mainly because I think the rhyming was less consistent and the bulk of this felt a little chunky and not as serene as the first stanza. However, this was still interesting to read and I really liked the reference to the person as a poem/song in the third line.

"She's my honey,
My dewdrop,
My old willow tree;
Mine
Always Mine
And Everything to me."

This was definitely, without a doubt, my favorite stanza. It was such a cute and powerful ending to an incredible poem! I have absolutely no criticism for this at all, it was amazing! Keep up the amazing writing, I look forward to reading your future works!

From Enchanted Panda

Wonderful poem. It's short, simple and to the point. The imagery that lies within the depths of the poem made it feel incredibly life like and gave a true sense that whoever "she" is, "she" will be loved. The rhymes were well done and not in the reader's face, something which can be a tad bit of a bother in other poems. Overall this was a very well written poem. A+.

Keep on writing!
Ben Dietz.

This poem is so cute; short and sweet! I love the use of imagery- including typical thinga that you would associate with relationships/romances.
With the use of 'my old willow tree;' it does seem like it needs MORE around the substance of the phrase, other than that, its just cute:')

Excellent. Flowed beautifully and left me going 'awwwwh'.
If you've written this for someone you should definitely give it to them; it's so cute! I'd marry someone who wrote me a poem like this.
The only bits I'm not so keen on are 'My old willow tree' and 'And everything to me'. The willow tree seems a little forced. Something else might be better there. Keep the 'And everything to me' though. That's great!

This made me smile . This was delightfully cute and pleasant to read. You were cheesy and cliche in all the right ways, and accomplished exactly what you wanted to. Keep up the good work!

I liked this poem so much that I can't stop reading it!

I liked it alot. I liked how it flow, it was flowing naturally. KEEP ON WRITING!!

If this poem were to be summed up into one word, it would be cute. It was an incredibly cute poem. I think it has to do with the fact that you talk about this girl as if you are completely dedicated to her.

I honestly cannot find anything that I don't like about it, but that is just my opinion! It seems to flow very well. Great job and keep writing!

This reminds me of that chubby little kid on youtube singing the cuppycake song. I would obligatorily post the lyrics for it here, but I don't think that's suitable to be submitted as a review.

It's cutesy. Not my style, but surely gets its cute intentions across pretty much to the point. Hallmark card material

First: This is a very sweet poem, and obviously either you or the narrator holds this woman very dear.
I like the flow of the piece, and how the lines are not all one standard length, so it doesn't conform to the boring typical rhythm.
One teeny, tiny thing: the first three lines sound pretty possessive. Like the woman in question perhaps has moved on but the narrator can't accept it? Just a thought.
Overall, though, a lovely poem, and I look forward to seeing more of your work!

Awww...this is absolutely adorwable! :3 I agree with the other reviewers that "mine" does not need to be capitalized...and neither does "everything".
But you're really talented.
www.writicles.wordpress.com

I like this poem and I like the rhyme. I like the way the speaker feels about this girl he is in love with. It shows that he cherishes her and loves her the way a man should love a woman.

My favorite part is all of it. The rhymes feel good and right, and the imagery is nice. The only thing I would say is that the sweetness in this poem boarders slightly on being insipid, like the part with snuggling and cuddling.

But yeah, great poem, and beautiful sound. 5/5

-The Phantom.

okay, I don't really see anything wrong with it, so keep up the good work!

Hiya!

Awww...this is absolutely adorwable! :3 I agree with the other reviewers that "mine" does not need to be capitalized...and neither does "everything".

Oh, and I wonder, who's gonna get the message?

so cute!

Isn't it a little early to be preparing for Valentine's Day, Ten?

I like it, it was cute and lyrical. Though I think it was a little bit cheesy in the second part:

"She's my snuggle
And cuddle,
My sweet lullaby,
My sunstream,
Moonbeam,
And star stricken sky."

maybe you could try with more metaphors? try and add a bit more depth into it. Overall it was a nice poem

I personally like that you capitalized Mine and My. It adds to the deep feeling of attachment and tone of the poem. Quite lovely, simple but really well done.

Its a nice, well flowing piece. Beautiful in all ways you can think of. It created imagery. It was a smooth rhythm. A little bit off but not noticeably off.

That is so sweet, I think that the person you wrote that you wrote that to will really like it I will never forget this poem, so sweet.

This was so sweet. The only thing that bothers me is the very last line. The whole poem flowed so smoothly but that last bit seems kind of chunky. Not sure if you know what i mean by that, but overall a wonderful piece.

Awww... That's so sweet! I really enjoyed this piece. It's flawless, though keep in mind there's always room for improvement.
My rating:5*s
My favorite part:

She is mine
Was mine
And will always be mine;
My poet,
My songbird,
My fragile rhyme.

She's my snuggle
And cuddle,
My sweet lullaby,
My sunstream ,
Moonbeam,
And star stricken sky.

She's my honey,
My dewdrop,
My old willow tree,
Mine
Always mine
And everything to me.

I loved it all!

Hope to read more!

w&w

Hello, I will be your reviewer for the moment and I'd like to start off this review by saying that your poem is very sweet and I love the clipped tone of voice that it holds.

"She is Mine
Was Mine
And will always be Mine;
My poet,
My songbird,
My fragile rhyme."
^ I would like to mention that when you tell the reader that the subject of the poem is yours you do not need to capitalize 'mine'. The last three lines are my absolute favourite in the way you describe the likeness.

"She's my snuggle
And cuddle,
My sweet lullaby,
My sunstream,
Moonbeam,
And star stricken sky."
^ In this stanza, I would like to mention that when you state 'She's my snuggle
and cuddle' I believe that you should say something different. The added line of 'and cuddle' just seems to ring strangely.

"She's my honey,
My dewdrop,
My old willow tree;
Mine
Always Mine
And Everything to me."
^ Once again I do not believe that you need to capitalize 'mine' and neither does 'everything' have to be capitalized. Instead of ';' you can instead use a period.

Overall, I love the simplicity of this poem. It's beautiful and simple. Only a few things need to be revised, but the poem itself is wonderful, with even the minor changes. You have potential, and I love it.

Write on,
Wisp.

This was great it rhymed and everything and it had a good pattern to it to and it reminded me of love. Good job, Tenyo, and tell everyone i'm back!