Young Writers Society

I am a peace lover, and I definitely agree to the last stanza.
'All blades are meant for war
whether or not we wish them to be.'
This really made me think. Why are their armies in the world, even in the 'peaceful' days modern 21st century?
I think we should abolish, or at least minimizes the size of armies. I know they carries the defence job of a place from terrorism (well, I come from Hong Kong, a 'special administrative region' which 'high degree' of autonomy was being sapped bits by bits by the Chinese government. The Hong Kong government cannot set up an army, as stated in the Basic Law, so I don't know much, actually), but I am just worried about some governors and leaders of nations making rash and wrong decisions.
Anyway, your poem was inspiring. Thank you for this poem!

It's a great poem! Although it is a bit long, your poem is like a description of the character's life. Am I wrong in thinking that there is a subtle hint to the pen is stronger than the sword?
I still think that it's a bit confusing just before 'they didn't save him...of war', but maybe that's because of the sudden transition.

I think that this poem was amazing it was long but worth it but I could not find the meaning really in it but I dont know if you just wrote it or if it has a hidden beeper meaning but over all 10/10 I look forward to seeing more of your work.

Hello! Cat here. First thing: I just wanted to say that I LOVE THIS POEM.
"I adored how gentle his heavy hands
could become, and the silver tip
that left trails of smooth, black letters
along the tired parchment, addressed
to men of steel and men of power."
These lines are especially gorgeous! "Men of steel and men of power" is my favorite. Awesome imagery. <3
Second: Nitpicks (plural noun) Those annoying little things that maybe you can change but don't have to.
I don't understand why he said his swords would never taste blood. It doesn't match his last words very well. Is that because he hadn't seen war back then?
Last thing: "They didn't save him from the call of war." I don't know why, but these lines feel kind of odd. I like "call to war" better.
Anyway, you can listen to me or not. Check your brakes-- then bash on regardless.
~Curiosity Killed The Cat

Beautiful

Ammaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing! Thanks for the read!

I never read a piece quite like this, It was beautifully written especially with your advanced description penetrating your every word jls1638 got most of the main points, I can't really compare each others writing, because there is nothing to compare. You have this realistic vision turned into a fiction (well what I've got so far XD) that is nothing compared to mine, but you made me feel emotions allover just like when I read my type of genres. One thing that will always stick by me 'All blades are meant for war whether or not we wish them to be.' Beautiful! It was a perfect ending it concealed the story and the reader, not leaving anything out, or leaving too much space. I admire this poem. And I hope to read more soon . STay awesome and rock on!

Awesome. I love it. Amazing job.

I love this piece. One thing that I always tell people is that they need to add description but in this poem you have done an excellent job with description. I feel that you have a good grasp of what you are doing as this is one of the best poems I've read in a while on this site. I think that there is one place that you could add something to help get across the message. This is where you say, "My brothers fell to in his stead, with the groan and heave, till I could almost swear I, saw the shadow, of my father standing there." It isn't till i read the next line that I understand that they went off to war. At least I think that is what you is happening. While I say this I am not quite sure how you would portray this better because my writing style is vastly different and I wouldn't be able to match your style of writing while conveying that accurately. Wish I could be of more help on how. My favorite part of the poem is that last piece when you say 'All blades are meant for war whether or not we wish them to be'. This is a very powerful message and I think that you give this message power with the way you wrote the poem. Then with the fact that you referenced the quill as a blade it really makes the reader think about the meaning behind it. Overall, loved the piece. Would love to read some of your other works and definitely keep writing.